Hey- So as you all know I have not been on EC for quite some time now, And got a wall sms from a friend. So to let everyone know, I am still breathing in may way. So I am still were I started a few months ago, maybe a bit difficult then before. And I am the only one to blame for my great and utterly big disasters. The little town you all know I live in is getting smaller by the bloody day and the apartment is getting smaller. (for thoughts that are wondering YES I am still engaged and soon to be married to my fiancé, witch is a man for these that don't know) Yeah( ) not so yeah. so sum of you may have notice that I do have a better attitude, and no I do not have a gf sobbing sobbing....hahahaha NOPE. I got classes juppy and sure as hell I do look hot. I think. To make the point shorter. my TIME IS RUNING OUT!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to do something before this wedding goes to the point I can no longer stop it. how do you break a lovely mans heart that you have cherished as yours for 4 years(its a life time). How can you just turn around and say good bay? after a year now I am deeper in the mess and if you want to tell me its my fault, don't bother because I already know that. I just still need help Your loveling maxi :bang!)
Just take my example: after three years, and while engaged I wanted to break off the engagement (I suspected that I did not love her and well that I was less than straight) she was devastated but she gave me back the engagement ring. I was so devastated by guilt...that I gave her back the ring... Twenty years later...three kids, divorce, lots of hard feelings. Your choice: short-term pain (although you will probably remember this forever - as a warning!) followed by the possibility of a better relationship....or long-term misery. Quite simple really. Just not easy.
I don't know how you should do it but the sooner the better. You know that right? You're on a train which engine will seize up one day. I think it's inevitable. The good part is that your fiancé already knows you're lesbian. How does he feel about it? Does he really believe it's no obstacle for you two to get married?! First of all don't look at the situation as "how do you break a lovely mans heart" but "how to be finally happy". To stay in a relationship just because "you don't wanna hurt somebody" is really not a good reason at all. Life's too short to get married just because some people might think it's a good idea. It's really time to think about your own good first. If you can't do it, think about your fiancé and do it for him! If you break up with him now he'll still have enough time to find someone else who he could be happy with and who'll love him back the way he deserves. Then look about the situation from your parents perspective. They think that you're happy with your fiancé (sorry, but I gotta remind you) so it's natural for them to be excited about the wedding, right? I believe if they knew that things are far from 'happily ever after' their opinion about the marriage would be different. You have to learn how to say "no" in your life and be "selfish" when it's needed. Especially when you wanna stay true to yourself. I know it's not easy but you have to find the strength and call off the engagement. I believe you can do it! (*hug*)
Hey. Yes I agree with you that short term pain will be the best but not the easyest. I am sorry to hear you had a devorce and may everything be oky for you. If I do go through with the wedding I won't have the BALLS you have to go through a devorce,so I take my hate of for you and good luck hun. (*huh*) " The good part is that your fiancé already knows you're lesbian"- he knows I am biosexual not hat I am totally a lesbian. " How does he feel about it? Does he really believe it's no obstacle for you two to get married?!" - he wants me to experiance,but it is not possible in the town I live. I am doing my matrix this year and end examination is now Monday(thums up)- meaning I don't have education, and I don't live with my parents and they won't let me come back.(We are not on good foots)- but I would love to go to the USA,get a job there and have fun for a while(because I have never realy had fun.)Maby fall inlove with a woman.(I don't know,its all dreaming at the moment.)So he looks after me,his famly would be hurt the most and mine and I hate to give disapointment to people. I want to keep them happy. "how do you break a lovely mans heart" but "how to be finally happy". - he has devoited his life to me! He is 28 and said one day if I ever have to leaf he will never find the love he has for me ever again.(That's heart breaking) and he realy is n good and honest man. "Then look about the situation from your parents perspective. They think that you're happy with your fiancé (sorry, but I gotta remind you) so it's natural for them to be excited about the wedding, right? I believe if they knew that things are far from 'happily ever after' their opinion about the marriage would be different"- they love and adore my fiance and they would hate me more then they already do. My parents arnt suportuf when it comes to there only doughter. (They will just say u are one selfish biths and I can't believe u did that to a good man. I believe you can do it!"- nice to know someone does (*hug*):bang:
