Recently I've decided not to come out to anyone else , at least till i finish my study . so many changes have happened in my life only in the last 2-3 weeks ,,, (here is my latest thread that just summarize what I've been through.) http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/112384-getting-engaged.html Today when i went to the hospital , my friend asked me if what was on my FB wall is true !!!.-- It's been few days since my last logging in to FB account . -- I told him i've no idea what he's talking about and i opened my FB to check what was he asking me is all about ...... I found out that my elder brother posted on my wall a list of therapists and churches that can help me to change my sexuality and tagged so many of my closest friends and asked them to help me out to get on the right tract . I guess either he's so stupid to do that or he just wants to give me another hard time .I was shocked and i started to delete all the post from my brother or even my friends who were questioning me . I couldn't read all the posts and comments, i just wanted to get rid of them , and then i deactivated my account. (( I guess now i know why my friends asked me to leave the apartment )) . I couldn't stay till the end of the clinical round as i couldn't handle all the gossips and the side talking between my colleagues and friends . I'm really terrified about what will happen in the next few days .I have no idea what should i do , i'm thinking about denying all the posts but i wonder will that even work ?! . I'm already under massive pressure and i wonder how much more i can take .......... :help::help:
Oh man, see I am so sick of these types of people. Why can't he just keep himself out of your business and junk, you know? He's already helped cause enough problems. I don't know what I can say to what you should do in this particular situation, man. So your friends want you to leave the apartment? Or are you already out? Cause all I can say is try and find yourself a new place if your friends won't let you stay even if you deny everything.
No , i'm still in the apartment, they gave me a week to look for another place .I'm still searching for a job and a room , it's really hard to find a room as the semester already began and mostly all the rooms are taken in the singles dorm , plus i don't know any students other than my colleagues as we tend to live to together for the studying and calm environment . I hope to get luck finding another place tomorrow .
How typical! Anyway just try and put your brother out of your mind for now, Just hang in there bro I know how hard it can be finding a place to stay in college. You can approach the university or a student union just stay quite on u'r sexuality right now. Ugh I just want to come there and help you! Praying for you this very moment. And sending you lots of good luck to find that place to stay.
Thanks Rayan, I got inspired by you and finally found the courage and told my bf with whom I've been in a relationship for 13 yrs (even though we don't live together) that I like women. He said that he's not surprised because I've always been more like a boy. Obviously he knows the stereotypes :eusa_doh: I couldn't tell him that I'm a lesbian and that I wanna act the same-sex attraction so he doesn't know yet what the real meaning is but it's a start, I think, and we'll get there eventually. One step at a time :icon_wink I hope you'll find a new place soon. Stay strong! If one believes in what they are doing doors will open to help them on their way. (*hug*)
Rayan, that sucks! I couldnt imagine someone doing that to me or anyone, even if he was just giving you a hard time, that's not acceptable. you have the right to be as out as you feel comfortable, no one should rob you of that power. I hope you find a job and a new place! Nothing happens randomly, there's a reason for everything!! best of luck!
I don't know what the best advice is to give you. I see you are a different culture than I am, which makes things complicated. I would have to learn all about your culture in order to tell you what is the best. I know that if you lived in the USA in the US culture, I would tell you to just go ahead and if someone ask, tell them yes, and walk off. If they give you a hard time, tell them to go to hell. However that probably won't work for you. So I'm at a loss. I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully the wisdom to know what to do.
Rayan, I feel very sorry for your situation, and that you have such an asshole for an older brother; you are loosing nothing worth having if you get him out of your life until he starts acting sensibly, if ever. If you lose financial support from your parents, you will just have to deal with it, but your secret is out now and there is no way to put it back in the closet; pretending you are straight temporarily is no longer a practical option thanks to your brother; people are going to assume you are gay now regardless of what you say, so you are better off to start being honest rather than being branded as gay AND a liar. As for your roommates, you need to tell them that there is nothing wrong with you, your sexual orientation is none of their business, they are the ones with the problem, and if they want to leave the apartment, they are welcome to do so as long as they continue to pay their rent until you find suitable replacements, but you aren't going anywhere. Check your lease; they are probably legally on the hook for the rent even if they leave. For your "fiancee" you need to tell her that she doesn't want to marry you, and you would appreciate if she tells everyone she decided not to be engaged to you, but if she doesn't you will tell everyone you dropped her; that way she has the opportunity to "save face" by being the party to decide not to marry you. Whatever else you do, DO NOT MARRY HER. It will be an unmitigated disaster for both of you if you do. This is just my take on the situation based on what you have said; you need to weigh your options and do what is best for you given that you have been forcefully "outed"; at least you did not get entangled in a marriage yet to complicate things further.
What your brother did is SO senseless :tantrum:. Are you moving apartment because you want to or because you are being forced to? You have basic rights and these people should not dictate to you. Your fear of gossip is also understandable but you should try and be strong however shitty it feels right now .... you have done everything correctly and for the right reasons - these people should just calm down and give you space. Hang in there.. in a week or two there will be improvements (*hug*)
I sincerely am very sorry for you. When will people realize that sending us to homophobic priest camp won't turn us straight? Ugh, our world is so demented.
Hey, I'm an American MD student going through some similar shit with my family (though not nearly as bad). I just wanted to let you know that I care about you and that I'm here if you need somebody to talk to. Are you a US citizen? What's going on with your living situation as of right now? Tried sending you a PM, but couldn't for some reason. Can an Admin please help me with this?
:icon_bigg i'm very happy for you that you managed telling your bf that , and don't worry , take your time telling him what ever you want :eusa_clap:eusa_clap ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2013 at 02:45 PM ---------- if I were in USA , i'd be out and proud by now . But here ( the middle east) it's unacceptable (the only place i've heard that there are gays out of the closet is some where back in Lebanon ) ... for example , if one of our mates had a long hair , we'd joke with him saying ,'' hey ,you look like a girl'' .... or wearing a pink shirt , ''that's a girly color'' ,,, blah blah blah (but it's only friendly talking and most of the time just to have fun ) , but hearing that someone is gay will be much different , i've already heard a lot of comments ... plus Christians is a minority here , most of the community here are Muslims , not that i have anything against them , but they have restricted roles about homosexuality (forbidden )
You have done NOTHING wrong here. Keep marching forward, take good care of your self and disown your brother. If it was meant as a joke, it's not funny. If it was meant as a positive thing, it's none of his business.
thanks for your reply , about the marriage thing , it's already cancelled ( in my other thread . http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/112384-getting-engaged.html , I posted later that i came out to her and cancelled everything , and then i was kicked out of the house) ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2013 at 02:59 PM ---------- It's my friend apartment , he asked me to leave but didn't say why , but i guess it's because of all the talking he had heard ..... hopefully things will get better by time .
i guess as ruthven told you , it's not allowed for us to send PM as we are a regular mm . I'm a US citizen , but i study in Jordan (i got a scholarship to JUST uni so i said why not ) but i'm planning to complete my study abroad . I didn't find a job till now , actually i didn't search very well , i have exams this week , so obviously i have no time .but i found a new place :icon_bigg I didn't attend the uni yesterday ,so one of my friends came to visit me today and i told him about the room , i'll be staying at his house with him and his brother . He didn't ask me about the gossips , he just said before leaving :'' don't worry , ppl will stop talking eventually when they find another thing to talk about '' ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2013 at 03:36 PM ---------- so my friends i'm moving tomorrow to a new place ... till now i'm avoiding all my colleagues , i didn't go to the uni after i ran away last time . i still don't know what i'm going to do or how i'll deal with this situation , but as Yossarian said , even if i denied that i'm gay , they'll always assume that .
