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I just told my brother

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BluePaperCrane, Oct 23, 2013.

  1. BluePaperCrane

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    Hi everyone!
    This is my first post here so I hope I'm sharing it in the right place. (And English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the mistakes...I hope there won't be too much.)

    So as you can see I just told my brother that I might be bisexual. I've already tried to find out what he thinks about the subject a few months ago when we were just casually talking about everthing in general and I asked him what he thinks about two girls being in a relationship. He said that it's cool and lesbians are very attractive...so I thought that it won't be a problem to tell him some time in the future. With hindsight I guess he only meant it as two girls kissing etc. not actually being together as a couple...

    So earlier today, we were sitting in the car, waiting and I just thought about telling him right then. I don't know why it even came to my mind, I guess that's just because I think about it a lot lately. But then, I chikened out and I started to talk about my boyfriend instead.
    The case of me and my maybe boyfriend is another subject, but in a few words, we started dating about three months ago, but we don't really do anything especially recently. We only meet in school (he is my classmate) and thats all, which is fine with me as I don't really want anything at all. I felt something at the beginning but now I just like him as a friend. But as we basically don't do anything and I'm not sure that we are together at all anymore.

    So I started to tell my brother that I'm not sure if I should still broke up with him or I should just leave it that way. Then he said I should find someone who is more a guy and not such loser ( he didn't really used that word, I just can't find a better one in English for it. And it's true that my boyfriend is not the best in that whole relationship thing, but I'm not exactly an experienced expert either). So that was the time when I casually mentioned that I might not like to be with a guy at all.

    So he just stared at me with wide eyes and asked me if I was being serious. He didn't exactly react badly, he said that he finds it strange and tried to convience me that I feel that way because I never had a proper relationship with a guy. So I told him that I'm sure that's not the case.
    Then, he asked if I told anyone (I told only my bestfriend, but I knew that she wouldn't care about it and she will be cool.) and if I want to tell our parents. (I'm not planning to any time soon). So after all he said that it strange but at least I can have a great threesome....yeah, totally cliché, he is such a guy.

    And now that I told him, I started to feel nervous and I feel like it wasn't really a good idea to tell him. And it's nothing that I felt when I told my bestfriend. My brother always told me a lot of things that he kept a secret from my parents and I always knew that compared to that, I keep too much secret from him so I felt like I can tell him this one. And he didn't reacted badly at all but I still feel like maybe I should have waited with telling him. Maybe it's because I'm not confident enough? Or is it because I expected him to react more casually considering his previous comments on the subjects? (there were more, not just the one I mentioned and he always seemed ok about it. Well, at least as long as it was about only girls and not guys...maybe I should have considered it as a bad sign?)

    And should I bring up the sucject again or should I wait until he brings it up? Or should I do anything about it at all because he reacted ok after all? I'm not sure why I am worried about it, maybe it's totally unnecessary. Any thoughts/ suggetions? I'm grateful for every reply.

    PS:sorry for the long text, I tried to cut it short. :slight_smile:
     
  2. plisken

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    Maybe he thought you were a lesbian and not bisexual if you just told him that you might date girls from now on. I think you should wait until he brings back the subject. If what you said "shocked" him you should wait until he's ready to talk about it but if you realize that he avoids you, you will have to talk to him. Hope this helped a bit..
     
  3. BluePaperCrane

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    Thank you for your quick reply :slight_smile: Later in the conversation I told him that I am still attracted to guys too, so he knows that I'm bi. Then, I guess I will just wait for him to think about it. Thank you for your help. :slight_smile:
     
  4. plisken

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    You're welcome :slight_smile: Yeah I think it's best that you wait for him to talk about it :icon_wink
     
  5. lovely lesbian

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