So I was at my friends place in the city this past weekend just hanging out. He doesn't know I'm gay, none of my friends know. Anyways later that night his girlfriend came home from her night out with friends, and she was really funny cause she had a few drinks. So she was talking about her night, turns out some of the friends she was with were gay. When she was talking about them she asked me when I'm gonna get a girlfriend so we can all go out. Me- when I do we can all go out Her- if your gay that's ok too..... Me- :eek: ya ok Her- what... So your gay then... Ok Me- awkward silence... No Her- went on and continued talking about other friends that we went to high school with she thinks might be gay. While this whole conversation has been going on, my friend and I were playing Xbox so I just kept asking things about the game. I felt so awkward and embarrassed after the conversation I was just glad it was over. Then it got me thinking if she brought it up do you think that she has asked my friend if I'm gay. I just wished this never happened. Has this happened to anyone else before. How did you handle that situation. Any advice if this kinda thing comes up again? Thanks
Why do you find it so important that she or some of your friends might suspect? IMO it's not a bad thing, if you ever plan to tell her or any of your friends in the future that suspicion could make your coming out go a whole lot smoother whenever you have that conversation. And if for some reason you don't want to tell her/them then you can always deny it since you didn't actually confirm it. The first person that questioned my sexuality asked me if I was gay and I told her no (I'm bisexual btw) but I really wanted to tell her the truth. Eventually she brought it up and it made it easier to come out as I only had to say "yes" instead of having to build up the courage to bring it up and being a nerve reck for days just to finally say it. As for your friend suspecting, do you have any reason to believe so? Does your personality give you away or have you been in any situations that you feel might have made them wonder?
I have experienced this before. It's scary because in your mind you think that no one knows you're gay and then that happens and it hits you like a brick wall. I used to think for the longest time that no one knew about me, but lately I'm learning that I'm much more transparent than I thought. This doesn't bother me though, because I'm proud of who I am and I don't want to hide it anymore. By hiding it, you are basically telling yourself its not okay to be who you are. You are only hurting you by not being true to yourself.
Thanks for the advice. I just haven't fully accepted the fact that I'm gay and I don't really know how to react when to subject comes up, I just feel super awkward. I want to be comfortable with being gay, I've felt this way for years...but I just feel embarrassed.
Hahahaha. That emoticon right before "yah, OK." These events are easily the most upsetting of any of our lives.I just learned today that sometimes when conversations like these are had that they're purely coincidental and the severity of it is completely in our own heads. We know the truth and other people don't and we're constantly worried I'd anyone knows. Just don't worry. You don't need the stress. It'll all happen when you want it to.
You're preaching to the choir here. Anytime anything about it comes up I get suuuuupeerrrr awwwkwaarrdd like if my mates talk about girls or hooking up etc. I feel like most people would know for sure but I never really comment on anything related to sexuality or just make things very vague.
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about, this is who you are. I fully understand that you are still working through things, its fine there's no rush. In time everything will come together for you trust me. I noticed from your description that you've come out to your mom. Why don't you talk to her about how you feel. Most moms give great advice.
That's similar to my situation. It's awkward as hell whenever the subject comes up, especially if it's in any kind of negative light. I know that embarrassed feeling. Tell me about it... Anytime I'm around guy friends or relatives and they are just going on and on about 'hot/fine girls', it's kind of weird. I'll go along with it for fun sometimes but for the most part, like you, I tend to not comment much in general. I mean I comment so little, it's usually joked about when I do, haha. Depending on who it is, it's like 'it's just weird because we never hear you talk like this'. By that though, I mean that it's like everyone just assumes that, when it comes to any kind of gf/bf talk, that I'm the type who's really awkward around girls in that light(though the real reason is because I'm not into girls obviously). Any time I do talk to a girl though, whether it be friend or just someone I see around, it's a little annoying that someone's always trying to play matchmaker or something. XD
Yeah, but why not just own it? You are gay, and that's okay and seeing as they seem to have no qualms about it (they might even suspect you of being gay), why not just tell them? It would take a lot off your back. Really, you should just come to terms with it. If you're deep in a locked closet with spiderwebs covering the doors, you'd feel a LOT less depressed/repressed and you wouldn't have to pretend if you came out. ---------- Post added 24th Oct 2013 at 04:57 PM ---------- Oh. Don't be embarrassed! It's just a part of who you are, and the hardest part of coming out is definitely coming out to and accepting yourself. My advice would be to relax! What's the big deal? If people don't like the true you, then they should bug off. Odds are they'll be like, cool, you're gay. We want to meet your boyfriend! Own it. Tell them. Yell it. Blurt it. Write it on a napkin. Bring a tablet/smartphone and type it. It may sound kinda direct, but that's the point. The biggest thing is accepting yourself. Believe me. I've been through it, and I'm nine years younger than you. And I'm out and proud. Cause I owned it. There's a lot of cluttered advice in my head right now that I will form into something intelligible later. However, take that and run with it.
