Please help me to convince people im not gay!

Personally I know how it feels to try and be something your not and its not good for you but on the other hand hand I also know what its like to be stereotyped and I dont like that either so my advice would be to just be yourself and dont be afraid to be assertive its not cocky to defend yourself

 

You have come to this forum, a forum which is essentially all about learning to be comfortable being yourself, to try to get advice on how to be less like yourself?

Good luck.

 

I know how you feel. I'm not straight, but a lot of people think I am because of my appearance. I don't mind if people think I'm straight before I come out, but I get pretty pissed off if they still think I'm straight after I come out.

 

You acting gay, or whatever you call it is a natural part of you, like breathing. It's what makes you to be you. It'll bring you no good to try to change the true yourself. imo. You're cute and like to dress fashionable so what now? Will you start spiting on the ground, wear the same underwear for 2 weeks and use no antiperspirant just to be seen as less feminine? You should rather learn how to be comfortable with yourself.
Also, the louder you try to convince others you're not gay the less will people believe you.
I look like a tomboy myself and sure, I'd like to be more visible as a lesbian but it doesn't mean that I'll get some piercings and tattoos done, buy a truck or whatever just to fit more in the stereotype.
And btw, who do you like? Do you like girls because they are cute, dress and smell nicely or do you wanna be with girls, I mean cuddling and stuff? Sorry for asking but that insecurity of yours, dunno...

 

I would like to know specifically what it is that you do that others perceive as gay. Because I get that used to get that a lot when I was in high school but back then I didn't know who I was. Also because of my obesity back then i was extremly shy. I do know that the shyness can be a bitch because it doesnt help at all. But back in high school I didn't have a lot of friends I was very much a wallflower. I wanted to be ignored because I didnt like the crowd I was going to school with. I really want to know what it is that makes others think that your gay. Is it your voice? Because when I speak I have always been soft spoken. When I talk to people on the phone they think I'm a woman but I'm a dude. These are just some examples are giving..

 

I'd trade you if I could. Hell I need a sign around my neck that says " I'm gay".

The biggest thing is just you. I wasted way too many years of my life pretending to be who others thought I should be. Unfortunately there is nothing you really can do to convince others that your straight.

 

So just to be clear, are you actually gay and want to pretend you're not?

 

Do you really want to stop acting like a girl? Cause the answer to that question is simple: do the opposite of what you are doing. But that isn't what you really want, is it?

 

YOU CAN'T! To "act" different than your normal behavior as it is near impossible to keep up and won't do you any good for those who have already judged you. By "acting" in a unnatural way, people will think your a phony and you will likely attract friends who would not accept the real you which in a sense will put you in a closet so to speak. Just a different kind of closet. All you can do is be yourself and if you are straight, date girls. I am quite sure many girls will want you, so choose well and enjoy them! The key to a happy life is to live life on your terms and that means keep those who accept and love you, and steer clear of those who don't.

I can "act" like a man to pass in public, which when I let my guard down I revert to being me. So it does require me to constantly think when I put on the "act" as I then am being unnatrual. I simply studied other men's mannerisms like how they scratch themselves, walk, stand, basically carry themselves and I simply imitate them. Anyway that is what I did when I was trying to attract a gay man. Well guess what? It did not work as they still did not want me. Partly because I came off as phony, and still I projected female which turns them off. So I still had to wait for the right man who liked "me" which did come along in time. Best of all I can just be the natural me and he loves her. Good Luck, June

 

"Methinks thou doest protest too much." Translation: The more you argue that you are straight it convinces people even more that you are gay. If you want this to go away just don't react so much. OTOH, maybe you like the drama you are creating. Maybe you like the attention being focused on you. Many gay people also like the spotlight.

 

Several people have danced around (or leapt into with both feet) my first question - "are you in fact gay?" I think it's an important question to answer because if you are, your biggest hurdle isn't "everybody thinks I'm gay". It's "I don't want everyone to know I'm gay", and that isn't quite the same thing.

But before we get to that, I probably should answer a question for you. After all, if we take your post completely at face value, you've come to us for help. You've let us know of your frustrations of your schoolmates and friends all thinking you're gay...and instead of immediately offering support, it sounds like a bunch of us are simply adding our voices to the choir. "You say everyone keeps asking if you're gay...but for real, though, are you?"

So why ARE we responding in such a fashion? Well, I can only speak for myself here. Is there something in your post that suggests it? Not really. The way you describe you behavior is very mildly suggestive, sure. The fact that you don't go into in any detail to show that you aren't gay (what DO you find attractive?) is perhaps a bit more suggestive, but by no means conclusive. So what does make me wonder? It's this: in response to being thought of as gay, you sought some support online...

...from a website devoted to support for gay teens.

You didn't go to yahoo answers, or any other website devoted to general advice. You came here. To a place devoted to helping teens and adults accept their sexualities and genders, and go live kick-ass lives. And that's what makes me wonder if perhaps there isn't something going on.

Now perhaps you ended up here because you happened upon the site in your online search, and you saw how awesome we are. If so, hopefully you can forgive this step of actually discussing your sexuality. It may be that, as "hammers", all problems look like nails to us. But seriously, I think it's an important thing to make sure of first. If you're straight, no harm done. And if you're gay, hey, we avoided a major trap.

Lex

 

Don't worry about it too much. Guys in this generation are mostly metro, it's more common then you would think. I guess you can get closer to girls if they think you're gay?

 

Does it make me homophobic to say this but it seems to me that the people that over-react to being called gay are usually the people that end up being bi or gay. People used to call my friend and I gay a lot a good two+ years before we realized that he's gay and i'm bi. Both of us would get pissed when people would ask if we're gay and we would overreact. Same with our other friend who's gay but turns out he knew he was gay at the time and was just hiding it.

 

I dunno...

that wall of text. That hyper chatty and over zealously bubbly style...

"I will admit that sometimes I do act kind of gay?"

Ending statements with a question mark to give them that typical rising intonation...

My money's with Lexington's appraisal. Through and through.

 

Lex was absolutely spot on. I used to do the same thing in my self-denial stage. It's a way of reaching out without actually admitting to yourself that you're gay.

 

mmm Saturn,
that response
..like an exquisitely, marvelous caramel confection enrobed in a layer of smooth, flowing dark chocolate and finally lovingly secured in a bright red foil wrapper....
And you just unwrapped it and bit right into it.
Beautiful.

 

I'm not quite sure if you're mocking me or not, but your response left me with a smile on my face and...thinking naughty thoughts...so thank you ^_^

"enrobed in a layer of smooth, flowing dark chocolate..."

Oh my! Hahaha

 

Dunno if this is true to the majority, but it was true for me. When I was younger my mom asked me if I was a lesbian. I don't know why she asked, I don't remember this happening at all. But my response, apparently, was to get offended and to go, "NO! No I am not! Why would you ask?! I'm NOT!" When I came out as bi to my mom she said, "I bet you feel foolish now for being all uppity about it before!"