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Is coming out necessary?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ellzzon, Oct 27, 2013.

  1. Ellzzon

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    I think I know that I am bisexual now! Although sort of questioning :dry: anyway if/when I'm completely sure a don't feel like telling my family. Partially because I don't want to but also because I don't find it necessary. It's not that big of a deal and I have never told them that I'm straight so why tell them I'm Bi? Of course they will find out eventually if I get a girlfriend but until then I don't see the point of them knowing.

    Am I completely wrong? :confused:
     
  2. Ohhai

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    Nope. Only if it will benefit your life.
     
  3. angel626

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    It shouldn't have to be.
     
  4. Ruthven

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    Do what you want and what's right for you, you know? :slight_smile:
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! I have moved your thread to the Coming Out Advice section.

    I think it really depends on how you feel down the road. It is fine to feel it is not necessary but I'd suggest to keep an open mind as you continue to figure things out. A lot of people come out because the stresses that they experience with 'hiding' their true sexuality, become overwhelming. Coming out also helps others to get to know you better, and can also help you to feel more included in social situations.
     
  6. lovely lesbian

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    Hello welcome no I don't think your wrong
     
  7. SemiCharmedLife

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    I came out to a few people who I really trust...enough so that it got rid of a lot of the inner tension that I felt keeping it completely wrapped up inside. I don't see a need or reason to tell the whole world, but I'm not necessarily going to hide it either.
     
  8. lovely lesbian

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    You don't need to tell the world unless u want to but I'm guessing not right now if u don't wanna shout it from the roof tops then don't come out in your own time and when u feel ready xx
     
  9. MossyCave

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    If you don't feel like you need to then don't :slight_smile: It's always good to tell friends and family, but totally unnecessary to make announcements to people at school or on facebook. But if you don't feel like you want to tell your parents that's cool.
    I'm the same. My parents and I don't talk about personal stuff, so I don't feel like I owe them this information. It might be a little more urgent if I were gay, that would be something they need to know, but I don't think they'd understand being bisexual. My parents wouldn't flip out or anything but they would think I was trying to impress people or think it's a phase or something, so I'd rather just not mention it. If they asked I would tell them. As for everyone else, I take pleasure keeping people in the dark about who I'm attracted to because everyone's always speculating.
    Just because you're not coming out doesn't always mean you're still in the closet :slight_smile:
     
  10. SilentCreatures

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    You've actually torn me here. My opinion speaking from the heart is yes. I am only speaking selfishly. For me, coming out has changed my whole perspective on the world and it has lifted a great weight from my shoulders. I see things in such a positive light, I don't see the need to skip down the street sprinkling flowers around everyone's feet to say look at me I'm Gay, I'm Bi, I'm a squirrel etc - not at all. In fact only close people know that I am gay. If anyone asks me - I will tell them. I have no fear of that, however no one ever has.

    Thinking of you - is it a burning need to come out? This may answer your question. I feel that maybe it isn't - when you are sure of yourself your feelings might change. or when you have a girlfriend that may also change you. (this was my catalyst - a relationship)
    I like your thinking. All the very best :slight_smile:
     
  11. Femme

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    The whole idea of "coming out" has always bothered me. I don't know how to come out as bisexual so I never have. Initially I lived my life in the closet but then when I had a genuine gf, I had to introduce her to the people in my life that mattered. I'm "out" everywhere except for work. I think if I were a lesbian, I would have crossed the work threshold but because I am not lesbian there is always a possibility that I might one day be with a man again. That possibility still exists and I don't want to come out as bisexual because everyone thinks bisexuals are just promiscuous and will sleep with everyone, so I'd rather people just think whatever they want.

    I won't lie though, if I was in a relationship with a man, I'd be out of the work closet and back to being "one of the girls." So clearly I have issues with it.

    So no I don't think it's necessary in all aspects of your life but when you have a genuine gf, you will not want to hide her for long.
     
  12. Ellzzon

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    Thanks for all great advise everyone! As for now I wont tell the and I should not feel like I have to :icon_bigg Maybe I'll change my mind and come out to them later. We'll see. :lol:
     
  13. tulman

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    Not for me. I've told a select few and have been comfortable with my sexuality all my life, even when I was young and "discovering". I'm lucky that my wife and I have always been open and honest with one another and very secure in our relationship. She knows my preferences. Makes life much simpler.
     
  14. Skyline

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    Unless you find yourself thinking about it and wondering a lot, then no, it probably isn't necessary. I'd say communicating your feelings to others is an important things, especially to help complete your own thoughts. But the doesn't mean your family has to be the ones you talk to!