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Coming out is scary...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Avis, Mar 5, 2007.

  1. Avis

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    Hey, I'm a 17-year old male and I'm gay. I've known I was gay my whole life, and I've been in the process of accepting it since I was eleven. I came to grips with it when I was twelve, but I pretty much just bottled it up and never told anyone. I went through periods of depression over it and I didn't tell anyone that either. I'm just coming out of a big one now.

    Freshman year I set a loose date for myself for coming out. I definitely wanted to come out before college and with some time left in my senior year just to finally be honest with myself, so I said March 10, 2007. Fast forward to today, and that date it fast approaching.

    This is just really scary for me. I have no idea how my parents will react. I'm in a Catholic family. My parents aren't really that strictly religious, so I won't be excommunicated from the family, but I know both my parents have made "gay is gross" comments before. I'm just not sure how strong they meant them when they said it. I know that most of my friends won't care and I know that my grandparents will probably hate it, especially my grandfather, but my parents are the real stumbling block in this whole process.

    I don't really have a point to this, I just needed to vent a little. Any advice, support, guidance, insight, anything, I'd greatly appreciate. Thanks-Ian.
     
  2. nisomer

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    I would suggest taking it slow...start of by telling someone who you trust the most, build up some confidence, momentum, and support, then tell your parents.

    Good luck!
     
  3. ampthejazz

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    I agree. Don't feel like you need to push yourself to tell everybody. If you really want to be true to your goal, you might want to talk to a really close friend about it before telling more people.
     
  4. Avis

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    The thing is, though, if I told a friend there's no way it would stay with him or her, and I really don't want my parents to hear it from anyone but me, so I think I want to tell them first...
     
  5. Kittie

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    Yeah, you really need to talk to your parents at least your mom, cause moms tend to be more understanding and who knows she may already know your gay. As for your friends, if you have friends that cant keep a secret and gossip alot, I wouldnt bother telling them at all.
     
  6. L|L

    L|L
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    People make those kind of comments all the time. You'd be surprised how many actually don't mean it. Or at least, will see the err of their speak when confronted with the fact someone they know and love is gay.

    There are two approaches you can take:

    The first being the direct way; telling everyone you're gay.

    The second being a bit passive; don't lie about it, but don't be in-your-face about it either.
    If someone asks if you have a girlfriend, you can say "I haven't found the right guy yet." Things like that.
     
  7. Rain33

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    It really isnt as scary as it seems. Just tell someone. You will like yourself better.
     
  8. beckyg

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    It's past March 10th, did you do it?

    Becky
    Proud Mom of a Gay Son and Two Straight Daughters