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Okay, I'm gonna do it

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 2, 2013.

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  1. CthulhuFhtagn

    CthulhuFhtagn
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    I've decided after much help from you guys on here (thanks a boatload!) that I will come out to my dad. I have reason to believe he is NOT homophobic, but I don't know how he feels about bisexuality. I'm planning on writing him an email, but I'm not sure whether that's a good idea or not...I've already come to terms with the fact that he might not be okay with it (my mother is less than okay with it), but I've still got butterflies in my stomach about it. Is it ridiculously cheesy/stupid to come out via email? I'm too scared to tell him face to face because I think I'll start crying and I am better with written word than with spoken word, but I feel like if I tell him over a letter/email he'll think I don't respect him and thought that he would explode at me, which isn't the message I want to send. Does anyone have any advice? :confused:
     
    #1 CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 2, 2013
  2. ShadowSpirit26

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    I think it's a good idea, and if he's a reasonable person, then he should understand how hard this is for you. If your absolutely ready for this, then good luck. :thumbsup: I love your username by the way. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 ShadowSpirit26, Nov 2, 2013
  3. SemiCharmedLife

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    I came out in person rather than in a letter, but I did have some pre-planned responses to questions I thought they'd be likely to ask. It helped me to have the conversation in my head before it happened, and made me feel less uncomfortable when I actually had the conversation.

    One thing I can tell you is that my parents are generally supportive of LGBT people but had no clue what I meant when I said I was bi, so be prepared for him to ask some questions about that and know that his questions may seem biphobic but are really just because he's not sure what he's hearing.

    Post on my wall if you want to talk more
     
    #3 SemiCharmedLife, Nov 2, 2013
  4. CthulhuFhtagn

    CthulhuFhtagn
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    Thanks a bunch guys! I'm so nervous today is the day! I'm going to write the email later tonight and then (hopefully) send it right before I go to sleep so if he reads it right away I'll be asleep...

    I'M SO SCARED AHHHH I feel super irrational about it right now... :\
     
    #4 CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 3, 2013
  5. AwesomGaytheist

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    (*hug*):kiss:
     
    #5 AwesomGaytheist, Nov 3, 2013
  6. Van

    Van
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    Why would you send him an e-mail if you live under the same roof? I mean, once he reads it you'll have to have this talk with him, anyway. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Van, Nov 3, 2013
  7. CthulhuFhtagn

    CthulhuFhtagn
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    I know, but I'm just so freaked out about it...I feel like it's easier this way. I find it really difficult to come out to people with the spoken word. My thoughts are never as organized when I'm talking as they are when I'm writing. Is that silly?
     
    #7 CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 3, 2013
  8. Van

    Van
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    Don't freak out! Calm down and just try to stay focused. :slight_smile:
    It's not silly! Not at all. Many people feel this way. I was just wondering, that's all. :slight_smile:

    Wish you good luck with this and hope everything goes well. (*hug*)
     
    #8 Van, Nov 3, 2013
  9. leer

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    ok I would see this as a ice breaker like to get the ball rolling your dad sounds like a ok guy who would respect you and maybe understand how hard it was for you in the first place .dont worry .:slight_smile:
     
    #9 leer, Nov 3, 2013
  10. yep

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    Best of luck! Make sure you let us know once you send the email and how it all turns out! :slight_smile:
     
    #10 yep, Nov 3, 2013
  11. ynot201013

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    Hi,

    Besides being the means of communication with which you feel more comfortable, it seems like it is a good way to let your dad gather his thoughts or think of any questions without putting him on the spot of trying to think of a good way to reply.

    Good luck!
     
    #11 ynot201013, Nov 3, 2013
  12. CthulhuFhtagn

    CthulhuFhtagn
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    Okay, I'm officially sending it as of right now...I hope I'm not going to regret this.
     
    #12 CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 3, 2013
  13. greatwhale

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    Good luck!
     
    #13 greatwhale, Nov 3, 2013
  14. GayNerd

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    I wish you the best of luck! (*hug*)
     
    #14 GayNerd, Nov 3, 2013
  15. drs

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    Good luck!
     
    #15 drs, Nov 3, 2013
  16. leer

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    :goodluck:the suspense is killing me
     
    #16 leer, Nov 4, 2013
  17. yep

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    (!)(!)(!) CONGRATS! Hopefully all will go well! Please update us as things progress.

    Ian (*hug*)
     
    #17 yep, Nov 4, 2013
  18. CthulhuFhtagn

    CthulhuFhtagn
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    Okay, so the final update is: he was totally cool with it! He basically respected my privacy (because as I've mentioned, not my whole family is cool with gays and bis) and replied with an email. At first I was too scared to open it but when I finally did the first words I saw were "I LOVE YOU" and then I was just crying hysterically. I'm surprised neither of my sisters heard me :slight_smile: I'm just SO HAPPY right now THANK YOU ALL for being so supportive of me in this endeavor!

    I love you all!
     
    #18 CthulhuFhtagn, Nov 4, 2013
  19. SemiCharmedLife

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    Yaaaay! So glad to hear!
     
    #19 SemiCharmedLife, Nov 5, 2013
  20. tommyj

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    I'm super excited it went well for you!
     
    #20 tommyj, Nov 5, 2013
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