So, I came out (as bisexual but questioning if I'm actually a lesbian) to my best and oldest friend about 5 months ago. Now, in the last few years, because of college and work, we've kinda drifted a little from each other, our meet ups few and far between. But, it's obvious that we both still love each other and our friendship and we've recently gone out to dinner for my birthday and had a ton of fun :icon_bigg Thing is, ever since I came out to her, she's kinda ignored it. As if I never said anything at all. I've tried broaching the subject again, even talked about a girl I liked in college but...no response. She changed the subject, in fact. I don't know why this is. We've never felt uncomfortable discussing relationships before - albeit they've been heterosexual ones. When I expressed the desire to come out to my parents, she told me to maybe keep it between us too for some reason. I know she's not homophobic at all, so I'm wracking my brain trying to think what could be wrong? Is she uncomfortable with me now? Has our friendship changed because of it? I never thought it would, not in a million years, we've been friends for our entire lives, but I'm really sad and worried now :icon_sad: How do I deal with this? I can't fathom the idea of losing her, but I won't deny this true facet of myself either :help:
Hmmm...that's quite a tough situation youve got there. I think what I'd do is just ask her about it and don't let her change the subject. What I'd guess is she's still getting used to the idea (it takes different amounts of time for different people). I also know, though, that it's scary to think you might lose your friends. I haven't lost any yet, but I'm terrified. Anyways...I don't really have much advice but I figure it's good for you to know that someone out there cares. Sorry I can't help more.
Thanks. Even knowing that there are people out there who care and get it, helps (*hug*) I think I will just have to confront her on it. Confrontation is not my strong suit though. I've come out to another friend, someone I've known for over 10 years and in a lot of ways is like a sister. She took it really well and has been encouraging me to come out and has listened to my concerns etc. so she's been a big help. But with my oldest friend, we have a different relationship, an older one yes, but different in our dynamic. So I really don't know what to think. Thanks so much for your comments though
Let me know how it goes! I'm glad you've got supportive people in your life because I know just how important that is.
Update: we're gonna hang out today so I will try and broach the subject with her and see how it goes. Wish me luck!:icon_redf
Yaaaaaah that's an aqward situation with your friend, eh? I know how that feels, i came out to a friend who I used to work with and she seems fine with it but the award part is that we don't talk about it AT ALL. It's nice to have someone in person to be able to talk to about personal stuff like that occasionally. With your friend when you bring up the subject and she changes the subject on you I would ask her if it bothers her and if it does ask why it bothers her since she doesn't seem to be the homophobic type right?
