I've got this weird feeling that my mom would prefer if I was 100% straight. I mean, earlier this year, I fell for a guy who's a complete douchebag (it happens to the best). I told her and she was so happy, I mean, she gave me all this advice on how to approach him and asked if I thought he liked me back. She was really supportive. On the flip side, when I told her about the girl I liked this year, who broke my heart because she was my best friend and freaked out when I admitted my feelings. I told my mom after three months of hiding it. I only hid it because it hurt me and I have a hell of a hard time talking about my feelings. She was more concerned about the fact that I had lied to her than the fact that I was crying my eyes out so badly I could hardly breath. She seems uncomfortable with the fact that I like women and men. I can't fathom why, though, she has other gay relatives and gay friends she went clubbing with in her younger years. She never asks me if I like a girl, it's always, "do you like a GUY at school?". She's known about my sexuality for almost three years now. I don't really want to bring it up because I don't want to cause an arguement between us. She's a very stubborn, opinionated person. I love her to death though, and I don't want this to put a bind in our relationship. Help! Thanks for reading!
Hi! It seems to me that your mom is till trying to come around to it. As we know, for some parents it can take a long time to accept it fully that their daughters/sons are bi or gay. Even though your mom has gay relatives and friends and seems comfortable around them, it's always a lot harder for parents to accept that their own children are not straight. I think it would be good if you would talk to her about it at some point again. Find a good moment/time and maybe over a cup of tea/coffee try talking to her again and let her know how this makes you feel. Maybe you could enlist the help of her gay relatives and friends? If you see that it goes nowhere, at least you will know that you have tried and that's really all you can do. But try giving her some more time to come around to it. Hope this helps.
Sounds like your mum is in denial. You could try and find her some resources, there are loads here and on the Pflag site. Leave pamphlets out for her to read and learn about bi sexuality. I'm not going to repeat myself because I have just said the 'parent's' point of view in another thread, but Of course your mum would prefer you to be straight! Who would chose for thier child to live a life where homophobia is rife and everytime you think youv'e got things sorted some idiot comes out with a hurtfull or degrading remark. Your mum is going to have to come to terms with this weather she likes it or not and you can help her to do this without too much friction. I would consider myself stubborn and opinionated (some of my nicer qualities :lol but when your child's happiness is concerned we parents can role with most of the blows. Knowing your mum is stubborn don't go in for a confrontation, inform her simply and kindly with resources to back you up. If you don't dont say anything you are validating her denial, you are going to have to bring it up again.
Thing is with bisexuals, parents can sometimes think "Well, if they like women and men, then can't they choose only one of them to actually date?" My friend had this to go through, and no matter how many times she told her parents "I like both", they continually asked her about the men in their life and not the women, hoping that if she had the choice, that she would go with a man. They want the easier option, for them and for you.
Well, I've written my mom a letter, about my feelings. Like I've said, I have a hell of a time talking about my feelings. I always miss something I want to say. I'm going to give it to her tomorrow, when she leaves for work.
