First off I just want to say that I am 100% sure that I'm gay, and I have completely accepted that. However I haven't really explicitly told anyone that I am, for example whenever my Mum or Step-Dad asks if there's any pretty girls in school that I like, I will say no, my Mum even asks sometimes of there's any guys I like. I do have one family member who is already gay and out, my Nan (grandmother) was really accepting of him, but he isn't really close family (he's my Mum's cousin). There are some things I do that people would typically associate with a gay guy, such as: watching reality TV a lot, listening to Lady Gaga, Marina and The Diamonds etc, talking a lot about fashion, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of my family already had suspicions based on these misconceptions of what a gay guy does. I'm not really close to my step-dad but I have heard him make some prejudiced comments on the past, and by past I meant quite a few years ago now. Also I have 2 younger brothers and a younger sister so my parents won't be worried about not getting grandchildren. As for at school, I have had one person ask me if I was, to which I said: "Maybe, maybe not. Why do you want to know?". Before I go into all of this I just want to give some background info: this is my second high school and I'm in 4th year here (2 years from finishing), guys are usually intimidated by me (because of how I'm unwilling to act immature and do dumb things with them) however I get along really easily with girls and prior to moving here almost all of my best friends were girls. In my friend group (which is completely comprised of boys) there are 3 people who I feel comfortable with, out of these 3 there is one who people think he's gay but he's told me that he isn't and he's been in past relationships with girls so... There are a lot people at school who use the word gay as derogatory and sometimes call people "f******", whenever someone uses these words in a conversation with me I call them out on it, mainly because it really p***** me off. The people in my main friend group are like this, unfortunately, I know they don't mean it maliciously to hurt gay people but it does and it makes me feel like s*** whenever I'm around them. Outside of my main friend group I have 3 other best friends who I speak to a lot, it was one of these friends that asked me if I was gay, another one has made references to me being gay, but I've also heard from another one of my best friends that she likes me and talks about me a lot and my final other best friend only recently moved here however we get along really well together and we speak all the time. So even if my current friend group is unacceptable of my sexuality I do have other friends who would be happy to have me hang around with them. There is one other openly gay guy at school and I heard one of my friends making fun of him because they have to share a tent with him in the upcoming trip to Malawi (little does he know he already shared a room with a gay guy [me] in France). At my school there is a guidance teacher and she is really nice so I could always go and speak to her, but I don't know if that would be the best thing to do. I still keep in contact through IM on Facebook with one of my best friends from my last school so maybe it would be best to tell her first as it won't be in person and she's really nice and accepting. Being in the closet is eating away at me from the inside and I really just want to tell everyone but where should I start?
Well the guidance teacher would be a good place to start, if nothing else it would be good to have someone you know you can go to if people at school start being mean to you or whatever. Then your closest friends, and work your way out.
Hi, firstly MY BEST FRIEND IS GOING ON THE MALAWI TRIP TOO, I think, pretty sure it's the same trip - is it BEG? Second, it sounds as though you are in a good place to come out as far as your friends are concerned, but make sure to do this at your own speed. You said there's an openly gay guy at your school - maybe you could go to him and ask him advice, depends if you think he's the sort to be willing to help. Otherwise, it depends what your community is like. If you live in a community where people at school know your family, it might be a good idea to come out to your family before making it common knowledge at your school.
Thanks for the advice. I actually decided to tell one of my best friends today and she was really understanding and didn't make a big deal out of it, I'm going to (try to) tell my other 2 female best friends tomorrow. I haven't told either of my male best friends because they probably wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut (or be as understanding). I'm still not sure about how to go about telling my family though...
I think what your mother said (about 'are there any guys you like') is a very positive sign. It's like she's giving you the OK to tell her and to let you know she'd be cool with it. Is that a fair interpretation? If that's the case she'd be a safe bet and would 'manage' your step father - who may not be as bad as you think?
