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No response to coming out letter

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dano218, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. dano218

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    I am 22 years old and came out completely last year. Most of my family responded well to my news. I came out to all of them on email or Facebook. Being that they all out of town it was the best way to do it.

    Everyone except for two cousins all the way in
    Maine responded to me. My question is being
    I know they viewed my message back in February and never said
    a word sense. They never unfriended me or indicated anti gay views on their page.


    I honestly don't care if they reject me I hardly ever see them. I would just appreciate a honest reaction. one is 23 and one is 31 years of age. Their other sister accepts me as I am and has been great about it .
     
  2. bingostring

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    I would not see it as ... rejection... necessarily

    just they are too lazy or not communicative enough to make the effort. It that quite possible?
     
  3. dano218

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    Well I tried saying hi to the younger one recently and she ignores my messages. She views them with no response.
     
  4. Yossarian

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    They probably feel they don't know you and what you are thinking well enough for them to know what to say. I wouldn't worry about it; you told them; they know; you have been honest and open; if they have a problem with it it is their problem, not yours. If you see them again you can talk about it if you feel it's necessary.
     
  5. GayNerd

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    At least they had seen the Messages. You have done your part. At least your cousins know. And nothing else does need to be done. They may just be ignoring your messages because they may not know you enough to know you and/or just don't want to talk to you for any reason they have. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. CthulhuFhtagn

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    I would take that to mean that they are still coming around to the idea of it. It may seem like a long time, but I know from experience that sometimes it can take a REALLY long time to totally accept someone who is gay or even to accept that being gay is okay. As weird as it is to me now, I used to be REALLY homophobic to the point of the annoying preachiness. It wasn't until four or five years later that I actually came around to realizing that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and another year or so coming to terms with the fact that I was bi. So while they probably don't think it's *wrong* that you're gay, they might not have totally come to terms with it. Different people need different amounts of time. Just let them adjust :slight_smile:

    I hope that I helped!
     
  7. dano218

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    Thank you everyone for the advice. I'm just gonna let it go for now and see what happens in time.
     
  8. Gipsy

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    Maybe you can just message them on Facebook saying a fellow hello, and don't mention about the letter. If they still treat you like they would always then they must not have a problem with the fact that you're gay and just didn't feel like replying back.
     
  9. dano218

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    I gave them space than I tried that with no reply.
     
  10. bingostring

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    do you have any reason to think they are homophobic?

    They could just be lazy, or feel a bit awkward

    One or two might even be gay, or questioning. Fearful of opening dialogue with you in case they end up revealing their own sexuality

    anyway, I wouldn't fret too much about it. Their problem. Enough time has passed and you can move on and they will surely get in touch one day about something unrelated?
     
    #10 bingostring, Nov 9, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2013
  11. dano218

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  12. Mirko

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    ... and that is the most important thing right here. It is unfortunate that your cousins didn't respond but you are taking the right decision by not letting it get to you or bothering you. It's great though that your family has accepted and supports you.