Ok, so I am in a weird high school situation. I am advanced, so I'm in a lot of classes with a grade older than me. However, I don't want to just abandon my friends from my grade. I'm super busy, so I really only get to eat lunch with them once a week, and I don't really feel super close to them. But I think that they still feel attached to me. So today at the very end of lunch, right after the warning bell rang I said, "Hey guys, so I've know you for awhile, and I just want to let you know that I'm gay. I want you to hear it from me." I said this at the end of lunch so I could leave soon afterward, because I felt pretty awkward. I know they are my friends, but I sort of feel like I've changed since I was really close to them, and I can no longer be my true self around them. So anyways, that is what I did. After saying that I basically left them no time to respond, and just said, "Well I have to go to class now, I'll see you next week." I could tell they were shocked, but I have no idea what to do now. The next time I see them do I bring it up? What do I say? or do I wait for them to bring it up, which I feel will never happen? I just have no idea what to do. I would have rathered them hear about my sexuality through rumors, but I didn't want to offend them by not telling them directly. Please Help! :bang:
Hi there first off, I believe you did the right thing by letting your friends hear it from you. If nothing else it will show them you trust them and care about their opinions/feelings. Although you did say you don't feel you can be your true self around them any more, so does it really matter to you how they feel about the news? Personally I don't see any reason to bring it up unless they act noticeably different around you next time you see them. I imagine you wouldn't have told them if you thought they would take it badly. I don't know what age you are, but I suppose I should mention what might seem obvious at this juncture. I have found personally, that the friends you make in high school won't necessarily be the friends you keep into adulthood. Though I would stress that many people have life-long friends from school which is great. I guess what I mean is, I wouldn't put TOO much pressure on yourself to keep them on your good side. You will no doubt meet new friends among your senior class mates, so keep an open mind and try not to feel like you're tied down.
Thank you so much for your advice. The friendship I have have with these people is on a very surface level. It is basically like, 'hey how's your day going' 'good' and then that's it. At least that is how it seems to me. You bring up a good point about being on the good/bad sides of people. The only reason I'm still eating with them is to keep them on my 'good side.' I worry way to much about what other people will think of me. Expecially my old friends. I've changed a lot though, and I really can't be myself with anyone expet my friends from older grades. However, I live in a really small town with one highschool that is very cliquey, so if someone is on your bad side, all of a sudden a ton of people are on your bad side, and right when I'm coming out, I don't wany to be in that situation.
