Hello to one and all, I’d like to start by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to read this. It might get a bit long, so bear with me. So, this summer I came to the logical realization I was bisexual. I set out the facts in front of me on paper. I thought about it for a very long time. The logical conclusion I came to, was that I am bisexual. I’m out to my best friend who was immediately accepting. It was perhaps the best decision. The next step would be for me to come out to my parents, as I know I’d never be able to potentially enter a relationship with a man, knowing I could never tell my parents. Nor could I have a healthy relationship with a woman, because there’d be a secret. I don’t like secrets. So I’m trying figure out when would be the best time to tell them. I’m pretty set on the fact that when I’m in University, it would be best. It would be the time they finally accept me as an adult capable of making responsable decisions and not just shrug it off as a phase. But here’s the thing. I’m not sure how they will take it. My parents are the kind of people who have a double sided tolerance. They think being LGBT is fine, as long as no one in the family is. For example, I was having a discussion with my Dad the other day about gay marriage. Me: “Dad, why are you against gay marriage? Do you not like LGBT people?” Dad: “Sure, I do. You’re uncles are gay, and I like them a lot. But it’s a religious ceremony [...] I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t affect my life” He then proceeded to say, Dad: “If ever one of your sisters came out as lesbians, I would be heartbroken. I would have to suffer the idea they would go to Hell and it would depress me. I could never bear the pain to know my own children will suffer. Plus, I would never have grand children.” This sort of thing is what puts me off the idea of telling them. As much as I’m proud to be who I am, I also don’t want to make my father sad. He’s a religious man and he loves God. That’s his right. I would hate to impose suffering and sadness on him. He’s a lovely man and I love my father. I just don’t know what to do. Help?
With your Dad, the best thing you can do is gather evidence. There are stacks of websites devoted to providing religious providence for accepting homosexuality. He will either accept them or he won't, but either way you have to ignore any pain it's going to cause him, because ultimately HE is wrong here. You won't go to hell, you can still theoretically give him grandchildren through various means and there is no reason to think you will suffer massively just because you are bisexual. He needs to get over these things and the best way to do that if you don't want to hurt him is to give him evidence. maybe start here Empty Closets - Religion and Homosexuality and look for more in time.
I totally agree with all of that, wanted to add something. Having children isn't something exclusive to straight or gay people. I was in a same sex relationship but either of us could've chose to have kids, but didn't want them. Now I'm in a guy girl relationship and could also have children, (whether I want them or not unfortunity) but I don't want any and neither does my BF. It's not that I don't like kids, I love my neice and nephew, and the kids of my same sex couple friends, but don't want any of my own. My parents would love for me to have kids, in fact that probably was the bigger issue than the whole going to hell thing. Even though I'm with a guy I'm not going to have a kid just to please my parents. If YOU want kids though, you and your partner can have them.
