Came out to my openly gay sister...it was interesting...

After reading several stories here, I decided to have the "hard conversation" as Ash Beckham would call it (if you haven't seen it, Ash did an amazing job in her Ted Talks "Coming out of your closet" presentation. It's only 10 minutes long but it's amazing.

Anyway, I've been out of touch with my already out of the closet lesbian sister since we tried to live together last year and it didn't work out.

We seem to get along better when we're in a "distant" relationship-that way her excessive drinking doesn't hurt me and my constant yelling doesn't hurt her-we actually talk online and have better results.

I reached out to her a few days ago and told her my story. I left it in a message on Facebook (that's how we mainly communicate) and she chimes in today "has it started snowing there yet?" I asked her if she was going to ignore the fact that her little sister just came out of the closet to her, and she said, "oh...about that..."

We had a really good talk. She encouraged me to come out to our mother (we have different dads) and I declined. Baby steps I said. My mom was very supportive of my sister when she came out (the day Ellen came out) and my sister came out as lesbian, but has told me she's bi as well.

I am confused though...I reached out to my sister because she has been there and went through this. I'm happily married, I have no intentions of cheating on my husband or exercising my bisexual orientation. I'm so monogamous I should be wearing a nun habit-and because everyone knows this about me, I don't see why I should "come out" to my parents for any reason unless I just want to drop it on them?

I stopped caring what they thought of me years ago, I don't necessarily like them or get along with anyone in my family, so I don't see the point in telling them at all. Don't I reserve the right to keep my sexual business to myself?

Do you think my sister wants me to tell mom so she doesn't feel "alone" or to support her in our family? Should I just ask her?

Why do I always have more questions than answers!:tantrum:

 

Thanks so much. She kept me waiting for a while before we "got around" to discussing all of this-I think it blindsided her a bit.

---------- Post added 16th Nov 2013 at 12:34 AM ----------

I have some experience with Al-Anon. My mother is an alcoholic and I took the painful steps in highschool to get my co-dependant father to sign permission slips for me to seek therapy. At the time, (not sure how it is now) but no minor could get therapy or help from abusive parents without their signature?

Hello?! Are you trying to get me knocked around here on purpose? Freaking red tape FTL...

Anyway, my sister is dealing with the afterlife of a shattered body due to aggressive breast cancer treatments. I was told to never give my opinion to her about how she lives her life and her drinking-classical denial set aside here, we agreed to chat from 2,000 miles apart for a relationship and so far it's been o.k. We have never been close.