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Questioning my sexuality since middle school.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Xander, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. Xander

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    I just want some advice or need someone to talk to about my sexuality, help me sort out of my thoughts?

    I'm 19 I attend college, I moved away from home to attend school. I've found guys attractive since about 8th grade. I always found them physically and sexually pleasing, yet I always thought to myself I could only have an emotional bond with a girl. All throughout high school I figured it was a phase and even going into college I assumed it was a phase. My Parents are religious and never found it right. My niece came out to my parents and they seemed to not have a problem with it, just to keep it private. Recently, I've learned to accept myself as who I am and that I am gay or at least bicurious. For the longest time I always felt shameful for having these thoughts and thought it was not okay. I found a guy who I talk to on a regular bases on a dating website. I've grown to have feelings for him, yet I think I still like girls? I just saw my old best friend of 14 years and we once liked each other and our old flame rekindled when we hung out for the first time in 5 years. I've never been much of the dating type I've only had one girlfriend in high school. I thought I accepted myself as gay but I just don't know anymore? I always believed in why labeling things, but I'd like to even know what I consider myself. I've always been a big supporter of the LGBT community. Any help or advice?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    WHY do you still think you like girls exactly? From what you've said you only mentioned attraction to guys...
     
  3. Nyarlathotep

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    I think his best friend/old flame is a girl?
     
  4. Yossarian

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    You don't need to label yourself publicly, but you do need to figure yourself out since it is bothering you and occupying your thoughts. The usual self-test is to look at sexy men pictures and sexy girl pictures, and decide which arouses you more. Which ones are you thinking of when you masturbate? If you watch a straight porn are you looking at the guy or the girl? Do you enjoy catching peeks of naked guys, or find yourself looking at the guys in swim suits at the beach, or the girls. This isn't rocket science, but it does require you to be open and honest to recognize how you feel about the same or opposite sex, because the first person you need to come out to as straight or gay is yourself.

    IF you want to talk about your feelings anonymously, we are here to listen. You may want to use the feelings described above to decide whether you want to try to get friendlier with some girls or some boys to help you decide if you have a strong gender preference. Nobody is going to know for sure what you are but YOU, but if the problem is interpreting some sometimes confusing or contradictory feelings, there are many here who could tell you about what feelings they had as they were unraveling the same mystery about themselves, and that should help you figure it out. You are going to need to open up more about what you are feeling to begin the process, so that help can arrive. It is good that you are questioning your feelings and trying to "get it right", before jumping to a conclusion prematurely and heading down a road that leads to nowhere you ought to be going.