Using Bi as a cover up

One of my internet friends was actually the opposite. He came out as gay first, and eventually decided he was bi. Makes sense I suppose if you don't accept bi as a possibility and you like looking at other guys.

Overall though, I disagree with using bi as a cover up. It reduces the legitimacy of bisexuality to other people because once you come out as "gay all along", they are reinforced in believing it doesn't exist.

I can't pass judgment on anyone who does this but I'd never advise somebody to do it either.

 

I would advise against it. If you come out as bi and they say "Oh, I'm gay", it may take away some of the legitimacy of your announcement and make people doubt it. I would recommend just being honest and coming out as gay.

 

I still come out to certain people at bisexual. People who I know won't understand my situation. In short, my first girlfriend cheated on me with a guy (she was bi) and I lost my shit. I thought, if she can do it so can I. So, I went and slept with a guy for the first time. Well, don't I go and get myself pregnant. I tell my mom, who thought I was a lesbian, and she didn't take it too well. She ended up saying that by keeping my baby, I have *decided* to be straight. So, I get married have a couple more babies, get divorced and then I say f*** it! I'm not going to fight being a lesbian anymore. So, for people who haven't known me long or that I know won't understand, I just say I'm bi. It's just easier that way. (selfish, I know, but sometimes you need to be)

 

Not many... I think the consensus of the "I am a former bisexual" contingent of the gay and lesbian folks here on EC is that they genuinely thought they were bisexual. But after more interrogation of their feelings and life experience, they settled on a monosexual identity, which is totally fine.

Ziester Adrian

 

I used bi as a cover up, for kind if the same reasons. I felt like the only way I could stay friends with straight guys was if I was bi instead of gay. But it was definitely wrong of me to do so, because like others have said, it makes people write off bisexuality as fake, both straight people and the gay community. I don't encourage others to do it.

 

Interesting, particularly the bold. For some reason, I've known some supposedly straight guys, including friends and good acquaintances, who seem to be intrigued by male bisexuality, and much less so with homosexuality.

Bisexuality is indeed real, but some people use it as a crutch or transition. It's so common and the reasons are so varied, that it makes no sense to chastise those who do it, because their intent is certainly not to hurt other people or ruin a group's credibility.

I was once reading a plot to a film or a novel, and it centered around a "woman hating bisexual" man, using exactly that term. I think such types exist. I think that there are also some women I've known who might be "men hating bisexual" women. Going into why this symmetrical situation exists is beyond the scope of a post. However, in those cases, I think that working on the anger is the primary area which needs to be addressed.

There are no easy answers.

 

I am bisexual though I haven't had any intimate interactions with a man in quite sometime. I am responding because as a bisexual, I just felt I couldn't come out as bisexual because no one trusts bisexuals. Everyone thinks we want to have sex with everyone. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a lesbian now since I've had a partner for years and we live together. If I were a lesbian, I might have come out in all aspects of my life. Being bi means I might be with a man again in the future and well I wouldn't want to have anyone doubt its a real relationship because "isn't she a lesbian?"

I also never really came out. I just said I'm dating a woman and let people assume what they want. For those that know my x boyfriend and how much I loved him, they all ask what was that about. Was I really gay? Those are the people that know I'm bi.

 

I thought I might be bi for a bit then I thought don't be so stupid your gay! But I can understand why people who might be gay say they are bi or vice versa x

 

I used it as a cover up. I was actually pretty confused about what my sexuality was. I wanted to have a label and bi seemed like the best choice. My reasoning was that if I ended up not liking guys it would be easy to just say that I'm not bi after all. I'm still not sure about whether I like guys or not. I don't feel comfortable calling myself bi anymore. I don't really consider myself a lesbian either. I just consider myself queer because I know that I'm not straight.

 

I use it as a placeholder as both pansexuality and demisexuality are virtually unknown here.
In my case it isn't really lying or hiding, since bisexuality does fit me to a degree, just no completely accurately.

 

I used bi as a cover-up for sure. NOT FUN. Nobody believed that I was bi, and now not too many believe I'm gay.

 

I use "straight" as a cover-up (because that is how I publicly live), because if you say you are bi, you really aren't covering anything up, in particular, that you like guys. Bis are homosexuals, in the eyes of the homophobic; in for a penny, in for a pound.

 

I did for a couple of years. I told my church "friends" i was bi so that I could say I liked women, while they were thinking I still liked men and therefore wasnt in danger of sinning.

 

I used bi for a while, not as a cover, but because it was consistent with the fact that I was married. Logical, but incorrect. After a while I stopped labelling myself after I stopped having sex, this non-labelling was a kind of cover, actually.

 

I’m not using it as a label. I feel just as much attraction for women as do men. I strongly discourage anyone from using it as a cover, because still today, people assume bisexuals are just in denial about their homosexuality or their heterosexuality and it’s only a phase.
I like women. I like men. I’m bisexual. It’s very simple.

 

I havent come out yet but I dont know if am am BI i like femininity transgendered women and such.

 

Maybe you're pan?

 

Yeah, it never was a cover up for me either especially when I was younger. I truly was attracted to both, but more leaning towards women.

Now that I'm much older, I look back and notice as the years have gone by . . . the more my attraction to women grows and less for men.

I believe time, is the one true thing that will eventually define us . . at least for those of us that were never certain about are true feelings from the start.

 

I didn't realize I was still in denial when I said I was bi'. It was only after discovering that all my relationships with women had gone to a dead end was because I was gay.