hey everyone, nice website btw-very helpful I've recently come to admit that i am gay to myself, I'm 18, and now my friends are beginning to pick up and the fact that I'm gay as well. Partly due to the fact when they ask me I don't say 'no' and also I haven't had that many serious girlfriends. The problem is mainly that I get teased for being gay even though I haven't come out yet. They take the piss, although not malicious as such, it is still humilating to be called 'gay!' in public in front of everyone. The answer you would think was to just come out, tell em to f*** off and be done with it. However, I fear that if I were to do I would just leave myself entirely open to attack and there would nothing I could say to stop them. because they're right.... I don't want to be gay but I have realised that means jack. the fact is you are what you are. So with this in mind I really want to get on with my life and be accepted for what i am - without the snide comments. What should i do? Wait until I'm out of my clearly immature school? Come out now? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. P
well once your out your out for good and you can't change the fact. If you feel that it 2would make you feel better to come out then tell some of your close friends. You don't have to announce it to the world because the world, as you've already seen, can be very cruel. So you don't even have to tell your parents yet. The first step is being true to yourself before you can be true to everyone else. Myself, i am having a hard time accepting being a lesbian (that's why i still consider myself bi). But i've come out to my close friends and family and i will be coming out to my less close friends soon... Just basically do what feels right and hopefully everything works out ok for you.
I agree with that. Through my experience I came out when I felt it was right for me to handle and accept it, and until then I flat out wasn't ready to come out. Do what feels comfortable and right for you, because being happy and accepting who you are is what's most important. Good luck in whatever you decide!
Perhaps they think you, too, find humour in their comments. If they're your friends, simply telling them you don't like those comments should suffice. They may not actually mean what they say. They may just be cracking jokes thinking it doesn't bother you. My friends from time to time make jokes. But it's all in good fun. And if they cross the line, I tell them so. Sammy Davis, Jr. was asked once what he thought of Dean and Frank making fun of him all the time. He responded (something to the effect of) 'I'll worry when the stop (the jokes) because that means they just don't care anymore.' That, of course, applies to good-hearted jokes and not those of the malicious kind.
As far as I can tell from what you've written, you don't really need to come-out at school - you're already out. As for feeling embarassed in public... 1. Being gay is not bad in itself - just different. 2. Pretend you don't care about what others think, until you really don't care.
Cheers guys - good advice I really took it onboard and as a result I have decided to tell my best mate on Monday. Fingers crossed! :icon_wink
Well....I TOLD HIM!!!! OMG I have NEVER been that nervous in my life! lol At first I just stumbled horribly repeating 'er....um...hmm' and eventually I managed to splutter out 'I'm gay'. There was a barely a pause before he reassured me that it was all fine and that he is my best mate and that, of course, something like this doesn't matter. I feel great! Better than I have in months! And you lot and this website are part of the reason why! Thank you. :icon_bigg
wow am so happy that it' turned out well for you pip and well done for taking your first big step!!! It's bloody hard spitting it out, but you did!!!
congrats! I'm really happy it went so well! :eusa_clap And doesn't the 'coming out high' feel great! (*hug*)
