I got the brilliant thought after a conversation I had with my mom over the phone. I've felt ready for a long time but I just keep chickening out. I know she loves me and doesn't care if I'm straight or gay. It's just... thinking about making that call and saying those words makes my stomach turn inside out. Even though it to me isn't a big deal, and even if it won't be for her either. How do I do it? How do I build up the courage to do it? I want to do it today, I'm so ready and I don't want to wait any longer.
If you feel ready to tell your mom but it’s the “G” word that you have a problem with perhaps you could tell her you prefer guys rather than girls instead. Or perhaps you could do it in a funny way, if you are watching TV with you mum or out shopping with her and you notice her looking at a cute guy you could say “Oh My God that guy is gorgeous/hot .. Oh did I forget to tell you I’m gay?” Sale Gay Guy
Well I have to do it over the phone since she's half a lightyear away from me. I could do it in person when I go home for christmas but I don't want to wait any more.
I agree with SalesGuy. If you have a problem just verbalizing, you can say you prefer dating guys. I came out to my mom. I think verbalizing it, as long as you get your message across is key and will provide you great relief. Good luck. Also, there have been people who come out in emails or letters or some other form of communication other than verbal or in person. Sometimes, I think people resort to those methods when they fear a negative reaction and they want to give the person the time to process and contact them. However, if you believe your mom will be supportive, verbally may be more personable and the best way to go. Again, best of luck to you and please provide an update. (*hug*)
Do you have a boyfriend? If so then you could perhaps use him as the reason for telling her you are gay and you wanted to be open and honest with her to avoid any awkward questions about girlfriends or the lack thereof. I would guess a conversation about a boyfriend could be easier than just saying you are gay, it gives your mum the opportunity to ask questions about him, where you met, what does he look like etc. But of course there may be the “have you had sex with him” question. However you decide to tell your mum that you are gay you will have got that coming-out out of the way so you won’t have to worry about it whilst studying at university. Good luck and keep us posted. Sale Gay Guy P.S. You could start by changing your "Out Status" on EC to "Everyone on EC"
The way most guys build up courage is to get somewhat drunk. LOL Probably not the best idea though. "Dear Mom, I was eating lunch with a friend of mine today, and she pointed out a guy to me and said that he was really cute. I thought the same thing and told her so. I was very attracted to him, and it is not the first time I have been attracted to a nice looking boy instead of nice looking girls, so I guess what this means is that I should start telling people that I am gay if they ask. I wanted to share this with you so that you will not be confused if I talk about a guy I am dating instead of a girl, because I don't want you to get caught by surprise. I hope this doesn't upset you because I don't think it is anything I can change; it is just reality. I will be very careful if I do date any boys, so you should not worry about me, because I am fine with knowing who I am, and that I am gay. If you have any questions, you know how to reach me. I love you!"
I did just come out about 2 hours ago on the phone to my mom. She took it well, I started a topic on it in the coming out story thread Thanks for the advice everyone!
Well done! I know what you mean about it being different to actually say the words, so huge congratulations on finding the courage to tell her and good luck for any future coming outs
