Hello EC, I'm 13 and i came out to my parents October 15th, they seemed kinda wierd, but they said it was fine, they said they would be supportive but it sure as hell dosn't seem it. I'm afraid of being myself, having to be this fake masculine guy just to show my fake self????. Do you guys have any tips on how to be more comfortable with yourself even after coming out. Thanks and i appreciate all the help .
Hi! I know how you feel. After I came out to myself (and this was back when I was homophobic) I was SUPER uncomfortable with myself. I kept telling myself that it was a phase and that it wasn't real, or that I was pretending I was bi for attention or something stupid like that. Basically what I did was write down in a word document (a VERY hidden word document) every single reason that made me know I was bi. When I was feeling unsure of myself or when I got a less than awesome response from someone/was afraid I would get a less than awesome response, I just opened the document and read it. It reminded me of who I was and that it was ok to be that person. When I started coming out to people, it was really awkward. The first people I came out to were other people who were out as gay/bi/lesbian. I was always terrified that they would accuse me of being fake/attention seeking. Of course, none of them did. They all just congratulated me on my courage and told me to text them if I needed anything. And as I came out more and more, I felt more comfortable with myself. Now I don't ever question my orientation, and although I'm not out to everybody yet, I still feel so much better about myself than I did. Basically, it takes time to become completely comfortable with yourself. Just remember, you are who you are and that's awesome! I hope I helped you! (*hug*)
I agree my coming out to my family was in light of my own homophobia. I have just recently felt comfortable holding and kissing a guy in public. I believe like all relationships that we have to be ourselves. Ultimately, we are different people than who are families were. We have to make decisions based on this difference and what helps us to feel happy. In my case I don't know that happiness was really in my families interest for me.
Don't "try" to be anything; just be yourself. If you don't feel "masculine" then don't try to fake it. The parents will gradually get used to what you are when you act consistently and authentically; you will only confuse them by trying to put on an act. I think that when you stop trying to be someone you are not, you will be more comfortable being what you are; give it a try.
Thanks for all your help, i read all of your responses, @CthulhuFhtagn thanks for your suggestion i started a document and i'll see if that helps , again thanks for all your help .
