I have never talked about me being gay. Im not sure I want to be

Cant help you on your question.. but i think others would find it useful knowing your age!

 

so you're not ok with being straight?

 

Well no one can really give you sound advice unless you go just a tad bit more in depth about your situation. Because their are millions of self help books about finding yourself, which it seems is what you need help with. The only thing i can say is, do not fight it. Whatever attractions you are feeling, whether they be straight/bi/gay w/e, just go with it. You will save yourself a lifetime of stress and trouble

 

Perhaps it's a matter of looking at what you want more in life. To be straight or to be happy with who you are.. Perhaps by telling us why you have troubles defining yourself we could offer more help. Such as you don't want to define yourself as gay because of the social stigma behind it. Also for me...when I was deeper in the closet than I am now when I looked at women I sorta "tricked" myself into thinking that they were hot...but during more...uh..intimate encounters I found myself begging for an erection (which I managed to get!). So don't let yourself think something is sexually attractive when you only find them physically attractive. You have to be honest with yourself. If your gay, your gay. Get use to it.

 

It's really hard to come out of the closet. It's also really hard to come out to yourself. Only you have the key that can unlock the door.

And if it feels right, it feels right - what more is there to say?

I never wanted to be gay. I never wanted to be categorized, stereotyped. But now I realize that I'd rather be categorized and stereotyped then be alone forever, stuck in loveless relationship after another. I'd rather be 'the gay friend' then somebody who was asphixated under the dreams of others.

Define yourself.

And on behalf of EC, we're all here for you, no matter what you decide to do.

 

Being gay isn't really about "defining yourself". It's a factoid. A datum. A piece of information. The way your hair color or height or city of birth are. These facts don't have to define you any more than you want them to, and neither does homosexuality. Your hair is brown, you're five-foot-nine, you were born in Cleveland, you're attracted to guys. That's it.

It's something you just need to learn to accept as part of your make-up. Maybe you wish you were five inches taller, or were a lot better at math, or whatever. But you ain't. You've got a certain make-up that you start off with, and a lot of it isn't changeable. If you're left-handed, you're left-handed. You can try to force yourself to use your right, but it's a lot easier to go with your programming. You like guys. Cool. Go with that.

Lex