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I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lespetitesmorts, Nov 19, 2013.

  1. lespetitesmorts

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So my best friend, who previously told me she was perfectly okay with my being bisexual despite being raised in a strictly Christian household, confessed last night that she doesn't want me to date a girl because even though she has tried, it's still so ingrained within her psyche that it's wrong. She has tried to accept it and she's happy to pretend that it doesn't bother her, except I know it does now.
    I'm not dating anyone right now (and my friend and I currently spend about 80% of our free time together), but the entire conversation just has me wondering about the future. What do I do when I am dating someone, someone who's a girl? Do I have to hide that entire portion of my life from her, just to make this work between us?
    Not to mention I feel a bit betrayed. I would've felt better about all of this if she'd just told me she wasn't okay with it from the start. But she said she was fine with it and so sometimes I would text her when I saw an attractive woman while I was out and about around town.
    When she told me last night, she asked me not to change anything, but of course I'm going to. I don't want to cause any friction between us because I love her, she's practically my closest family, so should I just not mention anything about bisexuality/liking girls.
    I just need some help, some advice about what to do and where to go from here. I feel blindsided and bulldozed.
     
  2. Lucky Oshawott

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    One thing you could do to help is refrain from telling her about any girls you find attractive or anything around the subject of sexuality if she seems uncomfortable in the situations. Perhaps that could be why she acted the way she did? She could still be trying to adjust with who you are because she's your friend and maybe she isn't comfortable talking about same-sex attractions and relationships. I'm sure your friendship would still be strong if you didn't talk about it. I get that it may still feel like not being yourself, but in any situation, you wouldn't necessarily do something if you knew it would make a friend uncomfortable. Hope this helps.