hi all it has been few weeks since i came out to my colleagues , I've managed to deal with some of the homophobic comments and all that looks , (PS: i live in the middle east , so you can imagine how things are different here , and some of you may say i'm crazy to come out in such condition but i had to do it ) Anyway , here's the deal : I'm a 5th year med student , 99% of this year is about working in groups in different hospitals , my group was great with me even after coming out , so everything was fine with me until this week . The UNI changed the groups and i ended up in a group of 6 guys and 2 girls , and i'm stuck with this group for the next 6 moths . I've only been working with them for 3 days , but it felt like hell to me . With my first group ,I used to spend extra hours in the hospital with some of them , but now , i can't wait for the round to end to get out of there and stay away . each time we subgroup ourselves they put me with the girls saying comments about hot it fits me to be with them and some other shitty things . even when we work as one group to check on patients and study some clinical cases during the round they just keep telling me to stand away , or to change my position , and if i accidentally hit any of them , they'd call me a fag and warn me about touching them again . i mean seriously , i'm in a group of homophobic members . What really makes me frustrated is that they tell almost every patient that i'm gay , and the patients aren't better than them . If the pt is male he'd ask me with the girls to go out when they examine him (as we are taking Gynecology now ) . I usually don't respond to their wishes but if the patient insisted i'd leave the room which is really embarrassing for me esp in front of the other patients . I've called one of my professors to change my group , but he said that it's not possible , and even if i changed them now , i have to be with them in another time in 6th year , so it's either now or later . Bottom line , what should i do ?! How can i deal with this situation ?I'm afraid that if i stood up for myself they'd beat me up later . i can defend myself, but against 6 , i don't think so .
Go back to your professor, tell him everything you've just told us (I realise you'd be doing this a second time) and if he still refuses to swap you out then go above his head. I realise it's the middle east and so on but you're not breaking the law and this is straight up bullying that's affecting your ability to carry out your duties and learn on the job. Document everything that's happened to you since you joined this group as best you can too, really helps when making complaints.
Thanx for your advice I've talked to the headmaster of the faculty and to the students consult and they will hold a meeting today . The principle himself didn't like what I've been through this past week so he put me temporarily in another one , i didn't work with them yet , but i'll on Sat , but i'm worried about this change as the new group has only guys in it (9 and i'll be the 10th ) , but the principle assured me that they will be very cooperative
What a bunch of assholes. Why can't things just be easy and they switch you without having to do some meeting? It's ridiculous. I hope this temp group will be good and that the meeting people will see reason and stuff. You shouldn't have to put up with this shit. (*hug*)
From what i understood , the meeting is to see if there's some thing they can do to stop these bullying ( which it's the first time to happen to anyone in med faculty ) that is based on my sexuality . The new group are the only other group that is now taking the same course i'm taking (Gynecology ) , the principle trust them and he told me it's temporarily until he sees how things will work out with me , other wise i have to change the course (either surgery or pediatric ) . It's a really twisty cycle of groups and courses . Ohhhh I just want to finish these 2 years as fast as possible :icon_sad:
You're really brave to come out to these areseholes. Just remember, you're awesome and they're idiots.
I feel for you. I really do. People are archaic this way. I'm also sure there are cultural dimensions to the problem, though things are changing at a faster pace around most of the world. What are the protocols for harassment in your place of employment and in your country, in general? I hope a new group will work out for you. Group dynamics are really weird. They can be like an "on/off" switch for the very same person. Try to propel yourself by looking at what you are doing as being very worthwhile.
Yah i know , it's very complicated , it even took me a while to get how the groups thing works . The hospital employees are very cooperative with me , they probably don't know i'm gay . But these are my colleagues that get on my nerves , i don't think there would be any action to be taken against them , but we will see . Today will be my first day with the new group , hopefully things will work with me this time
