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How can I get over someone who flirts?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lolo sime, Jun 14, 2008.

  1. lolo sime

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So when I told my best friend (Lara) that I have feelings for her and I am bisexual she said she doesn’t feel the same way because she is unsure of her sexuality. And she is just bi curious, she respects my sexuality and my feelings but she can be quite confusing. When I was at a party and met some guy (nothing happen) she got jealous and I ask her why. She said she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in high school and she felt afraid we won’t be close anymore if I get a boyfriend. Because she said she was being over protective. (That was last year) But the odd thing is that I been close to her when I was going out to my ex BF’s. I hang with my friends with my ex-boyfriends at the same time. She flirts with me too. She comes across my personal space, she smiles with a daring look in her eyes when I look at her, mimics my body movements sometimes, lightly touches me and leans on me.
    I thought to myself that I am thinking to much into it but when I told my best friend Mandy who is friends with Lara. She said that she see’s Lara flirting to me. I have the hugest crush on her for 7 years and her actions always been like this. I want to move on because when I ask her “do you like me more than a friend?” she replies “not as of now sorry I see you as a sister.”…..but why does she flirt? BTW I flirt back and get close but she never backs away or stops the teasing. I am 21.
     
  2. Malchik89

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    Sounds to me like she's got some inner conflict going on. Like from what it sounds like, she totally digs you, but something is holding her back. Possibly she's afraid that if you two go into a relationship and it doesnt work out, itll ruin the sisterly friendship that you two have built. I hope all works out for you, just give it time and see where it goes.
     
  3. Rahata

    Regular Member

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    Sounds like your in a situation like me. My best friend loves to flirst with me after he found I was gay its kinda weird. But I think they do it more to tease / for the attention. The best that I can say is try to distance yourself from her if its making it hard. Limit your times to see her to like 1 - 2 times a week and that's all or 1 - 2 every two weeks. It might help. With me he went up north to work so I get a whole week break then when he's home I only see him for like 2 days then he's gone again which makes it easier. But remember they only do it cause they like you, their not trying to hurt your feelings. Me and my friend get jealous of each other all the time. Its just a friendship bond(although i wish it was more but alass its not :-( ) So try and be happy and yes it will be tough but I think you just have a great friend that likes to hang out. I know how the jealousy thing goes it happens to me a lot.

    I wish you luck on this! Cheers.
     
  4. ColtonSmiths

    Regular Member

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    Sounds like your in a similar situation with me too. I've had a crush on my friend for a few months, but he's been really flirtatious ever since I came out to him. I still like him because in the end, I didn't see a need to get over him. If there's no one that you want to move on to, then don't. Especially because deep down you probably feel that if you stopped liking her, you would be depressed.

    Hope this helps
    ~Colton.