I need help/advice. Hi, I'm Ryan, 15 years old (almost 16). So I'm strongly questioning my sexuality right now. It's not been the first time, but this one is more serious than the other ones. I used to like and have crushes on girls, but that's changing into liking guys just the same amount. I am starting to think about them a whole lot more than I've ever thought about girls. I'm also beginning to not be able to see myself in relationships (both romantic and sexual) with girls anymore, only with guys. Does this mean that I'm gay? I know that there are such things as phases...to anyone that might have experienced this before, do you think this is one of them? Or is it the real thing? Please keep in mind that I have thought about this before, just not in as much depth as now. Am I too young to truly know my sexuality? (sorry for all the questions haha) Any tips you guys have for me? Any help at all would be very much appreciated. I'll try my best to give you more information if you ask for it if that would help.
How does the idea of being gay or bi sit with you? Do you find yourself getting turned on by guys? From what you're saying though, to me you seem to be at least a Kinsey 3.5 ... And phases are not a thing... It's true that your sexual orientation changes sometimes with.. time but it never makes a full 180... women seem to like experimenting more than we do, but if you ask them they never actually had feelings for the girls they were going out with, they just thought it was "hot"... Where do you stand on that..? There are some things only you can answer...
What up, man! As a D.C native, I’m always pleased to find someone else on this website who’s chilling in the capital of the nation. Now, to address your question, In my opinion and personal experience, this is most probably not a phase. Having curious fantasies about guys from time to time is different to thinking about having a relationship and physical relations with guys. The difference being, that a phase would mostly be a sexual fantasy. When I came out to my best friend, he told he’s had thoughts about with guys, but that it ended there. They’re just thoughts. If you’re experiencing something more, a lot like I was at your age, then it might be something more. Of course, I’m not you. I can’t be in your mind and dissect it to figure out wether you truly are gay, straight, or perhaps you’re bisexual. You could be interested in both guys in girls, with varying degrees. You could be more interested in men emotionally but physically you’re more attracted to women or visa versa. Your age is not something I would base myself off of. You’re only as old as you feel. I’ve met a lovely young man of 13 on this website who knows he’s gay and has come out to his parents. But he certainly doesn’t act (for the most part) like someone who’s 13. It all depends on what level of maturity you’re at, how you honest you are with yourself (which you seem to be) and how maturely you can objectively look at this and arrive at the conclusion of your sexuality. You sound a lot like what I was thinking at 14-15. I came out to myself this summer at 16. As for tips, I would try to calmly try and approach the situation. You should try and set the facts out in front of you, so you can try and come to a conclusion.
Ooh, two responses. Let me go one at a time. Well, it sits alright. I know most of the people around me (my family, close friends) would probably be fine with it. I think I'd be fine with it, too. Am I getting turned on by guys? Simple answer: yes. That's interesting...I mean, it basically feels like to me that I'm completely changing my orientation (maybe not quite as full as a 180, but right now it's very, very close). I don't think I'm doing it like some girls do like you say, I think my feelings might actually be changing. Hmm. You've definitely given me something to consider. Thanks. ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2013 at 08:28 AM ---------- Nice! Another D.C person! Anyway, that was really helpful. I'm glad to finally talk to someone who has gone through something like this before. I wouldn't say that it's just fantasies anymore. I mean, I've had them, but I think this is developing into something more. I would say I'm pretty honest with myself. Thanks for all that! It really helped! I'll try to lay out the facts like you said, and maybe then I'll be able to see what I am.
Growing up means finding out who you are, including who you are attracted to. You are not too young to know what sexuality you are, this generation seems to be coming out younger than mine, because it is more accepted and they are aware that this is a valid orientation. It is not unusual that you would first date girls, but then realize you are attracted to guys, we are socialized to be oposite sex attracted, we see it everywhere. So, to figure out we are not oposite sex attracted, we usually date that sex first. Then we realize "hey, wait a minute, this is not right". The teens years are very common for you figure this out, but it is not unusual to later either, depending on your home life, society and how you view being gay. Also, gay males usually come to notice they are gay faster than lesbians.
Hmm okay I think I get what you're saying. I know I was attracted to the opposite sex before, but now I guess, it's not that I'm not completely (I don't think), I just strongly prefer guys now. Thanks for helping out you guys, I'm beginning to think I may be gay, or at the very least bisexual. Although I think I need to think about it a little bit more to come to a decision.
