So I came out to my mom the other day..... We had a good 3 hour talk, and she told me to wait to tell my dad until i was in college. She said not to tell anyone in high school because I will be judged (even though I already told someone). She said at first you're dad won't be accepting right away but he will come around, but towards the end of our discussion she told me to wait until i'm in college to tell him. She said he will be more okay with me being gay considering i'm not one of those super feminine gay guys and because I'm not attracted to them either. She also said to not tell anyone in my high school.... which I don't understand why.. We have a gay club at my school and kids are generally accepting with the exception of the super religious kids... I don't know what to do anymore...... :help:
Sometimes, I think being moved out and at college can make it easier for parents who are originally unsettled to have the space they need to come around to the idea. It may save your relationship if your mother is right. That being said. You should come out to whoever you think is trustworthy well you are still in high school. I would suggest coming out to the friends you really want to and know are going to be able to keep your secret so someone doesn't tell your father before you are ready to
Hard to say what's going on here. Your mom may be genuinely looking out for your best interest, or she may be trying to delay things, hoping you'll magically turn straight. It's definitely true that kids who come out sometimes (maybe often) have some bullying to deal with, and that's likely your mom's concerns. The question is, whether staying closeted to avoid the bullying is worth sacrificing the benefits of being out (having a boyfriend, improved self esteem, etc.) And that's a difficult call to make where there isn't an answer that works for all. If you have the sense that your school is relatively tolerant of LGBT people, then coming out may be a sensible idea. Ultimately, it is your decision and not your mom's, but perhaps if you have more conversations with her, you'll be able to get a better picture of what her concerns are.
Your Mom may be being protective, and also probably doesn't have a very current idea of what it is like in your school. When I went to high school, (back with the dinosaurs, LOL) no one was out, I am sorry to say. When my son came out, we had a discussion about who to come out to, and he said all his school friends knew and were cool with it. I was surprised, relieved, and really happy. I had not have expected it. I would have counseled caution, and probably tried to let him know that some people might prove a disappointment. Don't know what to say about your Dad. I think you have to go with your gut here. Tell him when you are ready.
