1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

And there was one... my dad....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Monika the Diva, Nov 24, 2013.

  1. Monika the Diva

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I came out to my mom and my brother as a transgender female. My mom came first, she told me that when I was little I acted very feminine. An acquaintance of hers diagnoised me as such. When she told me this I felt a burden in me that lifted and I felt better but that was only temporary. Mom seemed ok with it but when I spoke with my brother, he told me that he knew that I told mom. He was mad that I didn't tell him first. He told me that he found out from another family member possibly my aunt who might of said something to him. I have a feeling who told him but it doesn't matter now. My mom discussed my situation with my dad and he got incredibly upset and he did not want to accept my change. My brother suggested that I'd lie to dad and tell him that I didn't make a decision yet. That I needed to talk to mom to feel better because I was stressed out and I have a lot of pressure on me and such.

    I realized now because of my dad spanish machismo its going to be incredibly difficult to get my dad to accept. And like my friend ElliaOtaku says "its like accepting my death" to them, But only my dad. I noticed that since my mom spoke to him he hasn't been the same. I haven't had a chance to talk to him. I plan on sitting down with him later today.
     
  2. marlenis31

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You have your mother's support, I don't think that lying to your dad will help in any way, he is your father and i suppose you want his support, he might be so sad and upset because of you being transgender but things will get better, just be honest so, they won't expect you to change, this is who you are and your father and family should support you the way you are because I am sure that your parents want you to be happy, you wouldn't be happy lying to him and yourself, pretending you are someone else, would you? they are just not used to it yet,they already had plans for you, just like all parents do. It will get better and be patient, he will understand or accept it but never forget, you are unique and special, there is nothing wrong with you. Strength and patience :slight_smile:
     
  3. Monika the Diva

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Thank you! One thing I will mention is that due to Chilean Society back when I was growing up. That it was taboo to have a homosexual son or someone with homosexual tendencies so I was brainwashed into being masculine.
     
  4. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well let me be the first to say the brainwashing was clearly VERY effective... :grin:

    Aside from being annoyed you didn't tell him earlier, has your brother taken it well?

    As for your dad, he'll need time, but you know that already. Fortunately you at least have your mum on your side, so it's not like you're facing him alone! (*hug*)
     
  5. Monika the Diva

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    My brother doesn't agree with it. I even showed him my photos in my other form and my brother noticed i was happier he only wants me to be comfortable as a male just as i am as a female. But we'll see what happens. I don't want to talk to my dad yet until i can isolate him from my mom.