I have no idea what I am doing. I'm usually not someone who has much trouble with anything in my life. My friends know me as the one who seems to have their life together...and I usually do. I am a closet gay men, and I guess I've always knew I was gay, but I didn't really think about it too much. I just want to finish college, and then think about it. But recently I've found myself really interested in this other guy. He is just overall a really good/awesome guy. I don't think I need to elaborate anymore then that. I know him, but I really want to get to know him on a deeper level. We are getting there I think. I want to talk to him everyday, and when I don't see him that day, or don't get a Facebook message, I feel very down. Which SUCKS...because I'm known as the bubbly, fun, optimistic, never a downer type. I don't show my feelings, but it sucks. This guy told me he has a girlfriend, but I don't think anyone know that other then me. I want to believe this is just a cover up, because I feel like there might be some chance he COULD be bi....it might be on the lower end, but there is some chance I think. I think he know I am gay. Every time I see him, he's always teasing me like touching me secretly, ex: my butt. He's always winking at me, even in church. He has a great personality, and overall act very manly. He's practically good at every single sport. He's an introvert, but has an extrovert appearance. He's extremely good looking, works out all the time, and is so humble. I am so attractive to him. I don't know what to do with my feelings. Should I just ask him if he's more then just straight? sorry for sounding so mumble jumble. I didn't know where I was quite going with this. I guess I should give some background on myself too. I am a sophomore at a university right now. All my life, I've always been someone popular I guess. I am quite well known this university I'm at. I am very involve on campus. I'm actually on the executive board for a club this guy is in. He is older then me thought by a couple of months. I am actually Homecoming Price this year at a 26,000+ student body.....just to demonstrate how I am not just some weirdo obsessing over a guy.
You're still a weirdo obsessing over a guy, but we all are. It's something we all experience as gay men. Just because a guy is attractive, we put him on a pedestal and convince ourselves that he is a dating prospect. Well, I have a rule. If you don't earn him as a friend, you don't deserve him as a boyfriend. So get to know him better. Get familiar and find out his secrets. Further, share some of your own. The worst that can happen is you find out he's actually not somebody you want in your life. The best is you develop a more robust, meaningful connection, and it survives for a long time. So focus on being a good friend, and enjoy that connection for what it's worth.
You could engage him in a conversation about gay equality and gay marriage as a general topic, and see if he reveals anything more about himself. Or ask him if he has a steady girl friend right now, and if he says no, then ask him if he has ever had a boyfriend or only dates girls, instead of directly asking him "are you gay". Asking people about their past behavior is less threatening than asking them to "label" themselves, because a lot of people have experimented and done things to see how they feel about them, before they are ready to label themselves. He may be more willing to talk about his explorations than he is to talk about what his orientation is right now, because that allows him to distance himself from that as "just a phase" or "messing around when I was a kid". But after dancing around the issue, he might then feel more comfortable to tell you more if you react calmly and tell him some things about yourself in return. You can also tell him that you are gay and want to know if he is comfortable with that or not; his answer will give you a clue to whether you want to go further in the conversation or change the topic to something else.
It sounds like he's definitely flirting with you, I mean winking at you and touching your butt are usually more than just friendly ways of acknowledging that you are gay. Maybe he is gay, or curious, or questioning, or something like that. You never know until you ask. You can do it in a friendly and lighthearted way so that things don't get tense. Maybe you should flirt back with him and see how he responds.
Hello, For someone who has their life together perhaps you could help me... I am a closet bi-sexual who likes women more than I do men. I feel really safe around a woman like she is not going to hurt me sexually or physically. Like I have a shot at protecting myself if she attempts. I have never had a woman intentionally hurt me physically because she wanted to abuse me as an intimate partner or no every fight was justifiable "beef" that I can count on one hand (LOL). I think the smell of pussy is an aphrodisiac which is why I smell my panties when I feel lonely and horny and women are soft and smell like flowers with cushions for breast and ass and a super dainty, feminine woman like Kim Kardasian turns me on. I like to go down on super dainty and femi women because of the ideology of their beauty being so overwhelming I think they may cum sexy. This is the best way I can explain my attraction to women. I put on a front like I like the smell of testosterone but really I like estrogen and fermones better. I feel lost and like if I date a woman my kids will not have the best example of what a family unit is supposed to be, but I would rather marry a woman (with no prenup) than marry a man at all! Perhaps you can help me some understand these feelings and come to a resolve?
