And Im still here. I came out to the hardest person in my life today My wife of 28 years. To muster up the gumption to get the first "Im gay" was by far the hardest. She was very quiet shed some tears and asked me some Questions. I answered as honest and concise as I could. Mostly revolving around the guilt and shame that I carried for so many years. She told me that I should go for counselling to help deal with the road ahead. (what that means I dont know.) Im kinda mad at my self that It took me so long to tell some one that means so much to me so thing so important. But the hard part is done. Where we go from here only time will tell. There Is alot more talking and tears in our future. I will need more support from you guys in the future. Moving forward I have no regrets of coming out. thanx to all
Hi there! Although you don't have all the answers at this point, know that you have done something very vulnerable and courageous today. Not having any regrets and knowing that it was the right thing to do, will help. You have started to let go of the shame and guilt. It will take time to figure out everything, and to sort out all of the details but with time, things will fall into place. Be there for your wife, and offer her support. Let her know that you are here to help her to get through this too. Seeing a counselor might not be such a bad idea as a counselor could help you in figuring out the way forward, and provide you with feedback on your emotions, and feelings. (*hug*)
Well done! You took a stand for honesty today and you should be proud of yourself for doing this. It's easy to feel guilty, but that is in part a result of looking back from where you are now. How could anyone who enters into a marriage foresee this outcome? It seemed like the best thing you could do then, for a host of complicated reasons. Now you came out because it was the right thing to do now. Don't judge the past simplistically, or try to find fault. What's maddening about this is that there really is no fault, no possible regret; the marriage happened because it had to happen; it felt right at the time, no one can fault you both for that... These will be challenging days, be strong and know that we are here for you!
Truth b known the day I accepted my self as gay has been a state of euphoria. Since than I have come out to two people, and sought friends in the community. it gets better... am seeking counselling ... thanx sooo much for the support huugggss
Yep, it does get better, and I'm glad that you are reaching out and seeking support. I hope that your coming out has gone well.
The day I accepted it was also sort of a euphoria type feeling. I just felt such a relief. I am in the process now of thinking about coming out and when to do it etc. The fact that there are people as brave as you to come out to your wife after 28 years of marriage puts things slightly into perspective for me. Honestly i could not think of doing anything harder than what you have done (I am terrified about telling a girl I was with for a year and a half that i'm gay). So just wanted to say WELL DONE and hope things work out ok for you and between you and your wife.
Hi Oneday004 Welcome to EC and congratulations on finding the courage to come out to your wife of 28 years, I know how hard that is to do. Since I came out to my wife of 25 years my stress level of containing the secret has dropped significantly, and as a result of my stress dropping so did my wife’s because she was less worried about me having a stress related heart attack. I seem to be fortunate in that my wife is very understanding and accepting, in fact our relationship has improved since I came out. I hope that you are also fortunate to have this kind of wife rather than one who spits venom and throws you out of the house. Keep us posted, many of us on here have been through the process with differing outcomes but we are all here to help. Sale Gay Guy
