I've known for a while that I'm gay, but I've only told a few friends who are close to me. I really want to tell my parents, but everyone I've heard about waited until they left school. The reason I'm so scared is because they are so religious and homosexuality is wrong in their eyes, and one of the close friends I told basically said that it was a choice and I need to change. That is what they will say, and possibly get me to talk to my pastor because when someone else came out as a lesbian in my church they all tried to 'change her sexual orientation' and as she refused it she was kicked out the church. I don't want to tell them but at the same time I do, because it is dishonest to them? Please help me!
Hi, there. Firstly, welcome to the forum. In terms of your predicament; I am sincerely sorry that you've found yourself in this situation: longing to come out, but with a few close allies, especially at this young age. I understand how you want to tell your parents about your sexuality. However, considering what you've told us about the situation, I think it may be in your best interest to hold off on telling your parents until later in the future. You must analyze the situation as objectively as you can: is there is a good, solid chance that disclosing your sexuality to your parents could cause a form of ostracism or indirect emotional pain? If so, it is completely reasonable to hold off on coming out to them. With you being 13, you have little control of what can happen in your life. Once you are older and are able to be self-sustainable, the quality control of your life is mostly in your hands and you will be able to make more significant changes to your life to make yourself happier. It is all about self-preservation. However, I do think it is important to establish a support system of some kind, such as this forum or with a few select group of friends who you know will support you. That way, the burden of being closeted will be less overbearing. I hope my response has helped a bit.
I totally understand where your coming from, my parents too are not supportive which makes things incredibly hard I guess you'll know when the time is right, something might just click. Well thats what I'm hoping for me anyway! I guess the only piece of advice I could give you is maybe choose to tell them when there's no important or special events like birthdays, Christmas that sort of things. I hate for something like that to be spoiled by so,etching that should be accepted! Best of luck
