As someone yet to come out to anyone (but planning on doing so soon), this is a question that has been on my mind... Do my parents, family and friends already have suspicions that I might be gay? Have they wondered but hoped its not true? Are they waiting for me to say something? I suppose maybe its wishful thinking that they do suspect it. That way it won't be quite such a shock, good or bad. After all these are the people who are supposed to know you aren't they! It would be interesting to hear about others experiences? Did family/friends say they had suspected when you came out? Do you think your parents/friends know even though you're still in the closet? As far as my personal situation goes.... Some things that make me think my Mum and Dad (who I still live) surely must have their suspicions: - 23 and NEVER had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) - NEVER mentioned fancying boys (don't try to pretend!) - Had very obsessive friendship (on reflection, unrequited love!) with a girl when I was 15. Was miserable when I was not around the girl, unbearable for my parents to live with and my Mum picked up on the strange friendship. - Wrote things in a diary about said girl when I was 15 that you wouldn't write about just a FRIEND. My mum could easily have read it. I later destroyed it when I realised how it sounded. - A further more recent unrequited love/obsessive friendship. Mum warned me not to become so friendly with this girl that I lost my other friends. She reminded me I'd become obsessed before. - In a conversation about gay relationships a few years back (our neighbours are gay) Mum said to me 'I wouldn't exactly be pleased if you were gay. Are you trying to tell me you're gay?' .... My response 'no, but....' ( then I went to bed and cried myself to sleep, I wasn't ready to say it then!) - Openly stand up to homophobia/voice my support for gay rights issues when in the news etc. (people know I'm all for equality) OR I go awkwardly red and quiet when conversations arise about people opinions on lesbians. - Definitely show more interest than normal to lesbian characters in TV shows (or awkwardly try to pretend I'm not watching them!) - Secretly bought 'Sugar Rush' box set when I was younger. Tried to watch it in secret and left it in the living room (Mum must have read the box when she was cleaning, she asked what made me buy it!) - I guess I was/ still am a bit of a tomboy. As soon as I was old enough to decide, I wanted to wear my new track suit on my birthday not a dress. My mum frequently comments 'you just dress like a lad, you never wear anything feminine'. A little harsh but some truth in it. - Mum comments that I sometimes don't seem happy and I'm difficult to live with but she doesn't know what's wrong with me! And I could go on.... Maybe it adds up to more in my head than my Mum's!!!
I think a lot of parents will wonder just in case it happens to be try; this normally has nothing to do with whether or not the child is gay.
My parents thought I might have been gay, but I was never attracted to anyone. Parents usually think about it if there's something off (in their opinion) with the dating. Sometimes it's a guess in the dark, but sometimes parents are really psychic about it :S
My parents don't really suspect me because they're Indian, but I think my mom might in the back of her mind. It seemed like when we were visiting India last summer, my aunt was talking to her about something related to homosexuality, I think mainly insinuating I was gay. My dad is more clueless, but he once caught the browser history showing playgirl.com. Actually, previously, when I was ~13 and just getting into puberty and learning about porn, I thought I was straight and visited sites like "bikini.com", which my mom found out and my parents gave a strict lecture about such sinfullness. So, I think that revelation made them think I was actually straight... As for friends, I think people who went to elementary/middle school suspect me because most of my friends were girls and I was kind of shy/effeminate. Moreover, my best friend who left before high school later came out as gay, so I'm sure he and our mutual friends are just waiting for me, LOL. Later, as I realized I was gay and trying to stay in the closet, I became more socially isolated and tried to avoid seeming stereotypical. However, I couldn't fake interest for girls or act homophobic, I had treated few friends who later turned out to be gay the same as anyone else, even if that meant people got suspicious.
Parents and sister had no idea, but one of my good friends who's also bi suspected it. Guess it takes one to know one.
My parents caught me with boys a few times. It was passed off as a phase. They thought it ended. We just got better at hiding and denying.
One friend I told had no idea, but we hadn't been friends for a long time. My other friend that I told knew since high school. So, 50/50? Now I haven't told any family members, but I'm pretty sure my brother and sister-in-law might know. My sister is completely oblivious and my parents is a mystery. I just realized my post probably didn't help. derp
I slipped under the radar. I've always been a girly girl. I'm also quite socially isolated. So no one really knows anything about me.
Yeah me too! I really don't have any friends that I keep in regular contact with, so I totally get the whole socially isolated thing. It kinda sucks, that for some reason no one seems to want to know anything about me also absolutely no one know that I'm bisexual and it's hard keeping it to myself all of the time :/
I don't really have any friends. I'm extremely socially awkward around my peers. Especially girls. I always find guys easier to talk to until they start hitting on me. I'm having a hard time keeping it inside too. Since I'm not 100% sure, I can't really come out.
