I happened to randomly check Facebook for a friend that I haven't heard from in ages who was/has also been my best friend throughout life considering we've known each other since we were 4 and grew up together in the same apartment complex until we were 15. Just to be clear from the start, I have no sexual desires/interests towards him whatsoever. He's just my best childhood friend and the only one I've kept in contact with...sort of. We basically lost contact with each other years ago when everyone moved out of the building but I happened to bump into him again just before my 18th birthday and haven't seen him since. No matter how long it is between our meetings we always seem to find each other again. And he means the world to me. Growing up we were like brothers. Any time one of us needed the other we were there. The only thing that bothers me is that now I just found his Facebook page and it's a current one that he actually uses and it'd be amazing to finally have my best friend back again. But I know also that coming out is something I'd have to do right after messaging him since I know he's going to add me or ask me to add him and I've promised never to hide my sexuality from anyone ever again. I'm also not sure how he's going to react when he finds out. Growing up there were no signs of it so it's not like it's something he'd suspect. I also clearly remember a conversation we had about 4-6 years ago during which he was having a religious moment and told me "No matter what Fishboy, don't ever go gay. It's the biggest sin out there." to which I ignored since I already knew I was gay but I was going through my own denial phase at the time. Yeah it was almost a decade ago, but what if he still holds true to that feeling? I don't want to lose him How do you guys think I should go about telling him? Should I just send a message and tell him when he finally adds me or something or should I just let him know straight from the beginning?
It's a difficult situation. To risk losing a friend you have been close to all your life due something as silly as religion. I guess that all you can do is take the chance if you wish to be open and honest with him, or just leave the friendship in the past. ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2013 at 12:02 PM ---------- I have lost what I considered as people who were friends solely because they learned I was of a different political/spiritual belief. It's a shame that there are people who are so rigid and insecure in their own belief system. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best with it.
Just my opinion, but I think you should add him and let the chips fall where they may if he discovers your orientation on Facebook. If he really is your friend and wants to be your friend, he will accept you for who your are. If he rejects you for being who you are (which is no more a "sin" than being tall or blue-eyed), then he is not worthy of being your friend. But, there is always the possibility that he has grown up and started thinking for himself now that he is older. As someone's sig line says (paraphrasing), "It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you aren't."
