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Married with kids and coming out as Bi

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cita1984, Nov 30, 2013.

  1. Cita1984

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I was raised Mormon and homosexuality was taught to me as a sin next to murder. I buried my sexuality got married in the Mormon temple to a great guy. We left the church a year ago and immediately after I formally came out to him and shared my deep need/attraction to women that has gone unexpressed for so many years. I love my husband but felt the need to express my sexuality and connect deeply with a woman, so we became poly amorous and I have a wonderful girlfriend and my relationship with my husband is closer than ever. I want to share this part of myself with my family but they are Mormon and I know if I come out as Bi they'll ask how I know but I'm not sure they'll believe me unless I tell them about my girlfriend, but I'm not sure if that is too much information for them to handle? I want to live authentically and I don't like keeping my life and who I am from them. Does coming out make sense for someone like me? How much info is too much?
     
  2. greatwhale

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi Cita1984, and Welcome to EC!

    You've got two things going on that the Mormons will not like, your bisexuality and your polyamory. Do you live in Utah?

    No one can tell you the risks without knowing your situation, but it seems a little dicey to me, and may jeopardize your relationship with your family for a very long time.

    So I put the question back to you: what are you willing to risk?
     
  3. Cita1984

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I live in Seattle and all my family lives in Utah. I've already come out as atheist to them. I came out as bi and poly to one sister who's on her way out of the church and she was really supportive. I have a hard time talking to my family and not sharing all that I have been going through and all that I am learning about myself. But, I know I could easily never tell them and they'd never find out. My mom will probably freak out and then pretend I never told her, but I'd like to share with her because I think she might be a lesbian. But, that might also just make her more sensitive/reactive to the situation. Do you think there's a way I can come out as bi without her knowing I'm dating a woman?
    I appreciate your feedback thus far :slight_smile: