Heyy, like to let everyone see this brokenhearted side of Kyle. I wasn't going to post this cuz i thought it wasn't suitable for EC. But i just really need someone to talk to now and most of my better options are closed as i haven't told many people this. You see three years ago i had this really really good guy-friend that, well...went beyond that....here's how it went down. One night at a sleepover (we had them regularly) we were just chilling playing games and stuff and he went up to the bathroom and i pull his pants down as a joke, he tripped and fell flat on the floor he cracked up and continued to the bathroom. He came back and throughout the night i kept pulling his pants down everytime he got up, obviously i was doing it for an apparant reason to you, but innoncent to him. Anyway as the night progressed it got dark and we watched some tv and everytime it was a commercial i turned off the tv in the total pitch black and gave his pants a yank as a joke....then about an hour later it progressed again and now every commercial he got a bit irritated saying "WTF, stop..." (he wasn't made he said it jokingly, laughing). Then it got late and some adult shows came on, it was like 1:00.....he became.....aroused (I'm sorry this is awkward i'm using as neutral language as i can think of). He started expressing, openly his state of being....i don't know what posessed me to do so but i took a leap of faith and slowly started pulling off his underwear. It's this moment i'd think about for think year, not sexually, not in regret, but in sorrow of how it ended. I quite obviously will not go into detail as that would be innappropriate. But most of you know what ensued. Anyway about halfway through my encounter. I stopped, and he asked "you ok?" and i didn't say anything....minutes passed as i left his bedroom and went into the bathroom, vomitted (some of you may not understand why), and stood by the window until he went to sleep....half an hour passed and i snuck back in the room. He was asleep, or i think he did....i crawled into the neighbouring bed and didn't sleep not a minute. Everyday since that night three years ago, we haven't talked. And i've never stopped wishing i would've said something. Anything. I see him EVERYDAY in school, sometimes im in the same room as him, sometimes even within a feet inches.....these are times i wish i could dissapear, these are times when it's the hardest for me not to cry. Today is his birthday. He's 15 now. And i'm falling into a void.
This has happened to me three times as of now. I know how it feels, and that destroyed me. Not until now, with help from my BF and my friends, could I resurface. If you want you can talk to me. PM me or contact me through any of my IM addresses. Fred.
I actually know how you feel too, the cause of my feelings weren't really the same, but the effect of it was, and I'm still dealing with it myself.
It's never too late to try and reconcile. It's not the best to have regrets when so young. (and I mean 'so young' in an endearing manner, not derogatory) Does he give you any indication he may be open for any sort of dialogue, or does he tend to avoid you like the plague, even when in close proximity?
I have absolutely NO experience on this front, but maybe you could try to fix it now??? (which sounds so dumb, but I'm serious) {side note: HEY! look at that. I needed to say it was dumb, and I managed to get my point across, without using the word gay! OMG *glares at the remaining people in the "thats so gay" thread} :icon_bigg Anyway. I mean, I guess he erm... enjoyed it at the time. So maybe he is also gay? Or maybe it was just a fling... "being a teen" sort of thing? I guess, if he's open to it, maybe you should tell him how you feel? Is the not speaking thing his doing, or yours, or just kind of happened? (way too many questions) I guess I just feel sad that something so... fun could cause you so much pain.
I sort of know how you feel... I have this guy at school, who i used to like and we used to be friends, now he doesnt say anything to me at all, because i think he can see right through me and it scares him... so i can relate a bit...
You shouldn't worry about it. It's not uncommon for guys to masturbate each other. He probably thought you were doing it as a friend thing not a 'gay' thing. Had you continued or gone furtehr, he may have repeated the favor. You should feel lucky. You found a friend who you can...have 'fun' with and do what boys do. He probably didn't consider it to be a gya thing. Just a anatural feeling. It's his birthday, so pull him aside and just tell himone on one what happened and that your here at his partyy because you wnat to be friend with him again.
Sigh I know what your going through TOO well. This guy I like who is two years younger basicallly rubbed me through my pants (i hope that's neutral enough), put his hand up my shirt, and held hands with me when his mother and sister were in the front seats of their van (he was in back seat, I was in middle). Then the next day he says he isn't gay, and day after that he has a girlfriend. Now this year he's dating my acquaintance Bri (Brianne) and unfortunately he barely says any words to me anymore. The most he'd say is to tell me his sister is coming home (who's my best friend). It's so annoying because not a day goes by where i don''t look at him, and think...what if? It's the toughest thing, especially because before what happened we were beginning a good friendship....and then that happened..
I a similar experience though I don't know how we got there. We performed "favors" for eachother. This lasted for about three years, he was SOOOOOO GORGEOUS-swimmer body- but I knew he was straight. Every time we did stuff for eachother I always wished we could go further. It killed me every time we ended it. It was the classic fall in love with best friend scenario. Then he got a girlfriend and he didn't need me anymore. I hated that we had to stop, but I was relieved that I wouldnt have to suffer every time we couldn't go further. Then I told him I was gay and then we couldn't even watch porn together and masturbate like we had started doying since he got his girlfriend. We remained friends though.
