So, my question is, do you think it's worth it to come out in person to a friend you are 100% positive will react in a very negative manner? They are going to find out one way or another when I come out and their reaction will be very negative. So, do you think it even matters how they find out?
i think this one very much depends on individual circumstance. are you going to want to try and keep this friend or will they be so hung up on you being gay that it will be impossible? i'm very much the type who can cut people away very quickly and effortlessly, so i would probably be like "i'm gay, and don't worry you'll have plenty of time to think about how much you hate me since you'll be at the curb from now on." that being said i know you're thinking about coming out to your parents also, so maybe it would be best to let this friend find out second hand; just in case your parents get a little weird from the initial shock and then knowing this friend will react badly anyway. too much negativity at once can be kind of a drag, you know?
Thanks! That makes a lot of sense. I would sort of like keeping these friends, but I know that two of them will definitely not accept me, so really it's in their field if they want to remain friends once they find out. I have a pretty awesome support network of other friends and my sister, so I think I'll be good. The reason why I was debating on how to tell them is that I want to mention/not hide who I am on Facebook after my parents find out. This would cause those friends to find out, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Although it sounds trite to say it, if they like you now only because they don't know you are gay, and would not like you if you are, then they are NOT really suitable to be your friends, because you are gay. Put what you want on Facebook, and if they run away, good riddance. If they ask "Why didn't you tell us before?", just tell them "Because I like you and want to be your friends, so I did not want to make you uncomfortable, but I have now decided it would be better to be honest and see if you really like me, or that person I was pretending to be to accommodate you. I am the same person you already know, but now I am trusting you more, to know more about me. If you are afraid to be seen hanging out with me because of what others might think, I understand, but everyone knows you guys are straight, so I don't think it really matters to anybody. You can decide if you still want to be friends; I do." Or something like that.
