So... how can you tell when your in love? Whats the biggest difference between a crush and when your in love? I know I've had crushes in the past..but i claim to tell some guys i love them that i dated..and now ive been confused and mighta taken the word "Love" out of context..how can I tell when its love? or jus a crush or somthing in between? Thanks. -Nick
Ha! If only I knew, it would have saved me a bit of heartbreak (and make things easier for me at the moment even!) Basically, as I see it, Love isn't in "levels" or "amounts". It doesnt go: I like you, I have a crush on you, I love you, I'm in love with you, etc etc. I tend to think of it as: Crush - one sided love Love - a returned crush. It seems to be just a matter of how long that love lasts in a relationship. You tend to find that theres often a period of "puppy love" at the beginning of a relationship (particularly in teenage relationships due to hormones). This is basically when both of you feel amazingly in love with each other and want to be with no one else in the world. When this puppy love fades (can be weeks, months etc) some people make the mistake of assuming that the relationship has died, when really you have a deeper, caring love for that person. Of course, this can also be when someone gets "bored" of the relationship. I know personally I've just got bored of one of my boyfriends. It had nothing to do with him - I just found that the time i spent with him wasnt as interesting as it had once been. Everyone has ways they need to be treated in a relationship to maintain that love though. For example, I'm the type of person who loves to be in control. The only problem is that when I'm in control I tend to get bored or things become stale. When I'm not in control (for example, when the other guy in the relationship takes charge) then its something different for me, and it makes me feel amazing. I suppose the point is that there are more factors in a relationship that determine how you feel about a person than just "whether or not you love them". You usually cant sort it out until you've spent time with that person, which is why a friendship before a relationship can be really good. Afterall - if you dont enjoy each others company chances are you aren't going to last as a couple very long.
Alright, I'm going to be a bit cold about this ^^;. Probably because my girl/boyfriend is being a jerk. But this is where I stand with my Anthropology background: Love is a justification for what needs to be done. I love you, so I have to let you go. I love you, lets have sex. I love you, so we should get married. I love you, so you should help me with my term paper. etc etc. Love is a culturally defined tool to help people explain and justify their relationships. The word is multifaceted. It only means whatever is useful at the moment for it to mean. Physiologically, 'love' refers to two different hormonal processes- infatuation (which produces the same hormonal responses as a drug craving), and long term pair bond love (which produces the same hormonal responses that bond mothers to their children, particularly oxytocin.) Maybe this helps with the confusion? Maybe not. If you wanted at the moment to say that you loved them, then love is the word you wanted to use. It's their responsibility to interpret it within the context of your relationship ^^;.
Love is what survives after the crush. If you've had relations with someone and have come to know their habits, their secrets, and you still find them attractive.... It may be love. You'll notice, as a gay man, that as you repeat a sexual experience with someone, the newness of it wears off and you are left with the reality of the personality and not the body of the other male. If you still find him wonderful after the sex is "ordinary" (or better yet the sex never becomes ordinary) it may be what you're looking for. Peace and much love.
Oo, that is my biggest question I've been wondering, at last some one asked well, most kids our age can not know and realize the differences between a crush and love,a nd even soem adult as well A crush is when you like, LIKE, someone about appearnace, it 's the 1st stage, as a friendship taht can lead you to a relationship, well, some can, some can not, depends on the kind of crush you have When you love someone, your feelings for him now are deeper, you love him inside out, or both his in and out sides, now you care for him, you can forgive him if he makes a mistakes, basically, you guys always look at the same directions Some people need to understan dlove an dlust too, when you lust someone, you might not love their wholething, you only care bout their appearance, liek they are super cute, hot, and you may end up kicking their butt easily One rule to remember, dont overuse the phrase "I love you" if you say it alot, it'll be meaningless, only sai dit when the right time comes, when you really LOVE your bf, when you know you are able to love him, when you are sure you can protect and keep your love survive Some people said I love you to me rigth the 1st day we talk, well, dont know how can they love me when they never talked to me before, but somehow I understand this love means love of friendship then
i dont believe that love is an excuse to get things done, that is so cynical. I love my boyfriend for no objective reason. I love him because he makes me happier than anyone and there is no one I would rather be with. i love him for so many reasons that i cant even explain in words. i'm a hopeless romantic though, so i guess i would say something like this.. :icon_wink
I once heard a saying that goes something like this (I can hardly remember it, so it is probably totally wrong, but you get the gist!) Which is what I see as love. I also agree with Dave that it has to be returned.
I once read a study that our pupils dialate when we are looking at somebody we love. So you want to know if the person you are with loves you, look how big their pupils are. Speaking from experience, love comes in many different forms and on different levels. The ultimate form is when you have achieved uncondiontal love. You love that person in spite of all the little things that could drive you crazy.
To put it simple when you're in love you will have butterflies in your stomach, and you'll be able to feel your heart go weak. That's when you know you're in love.
I think im too young to have fallen in love...but then again its also prob because i dont put myself out there to get into a relationship....ies im not out, therefore i dont go to gay clubs or anything, and personally i dont think an online relationship for me cos i need some form of affection. Anyway, i think you know you love someone when you give them things without even thinking about the returning them (like giving someone a dollar for a freddo, and knowing you won't see it again), or being able to appreciate someones interests even if you dont share them (like his obsession with wrestling and DBSK (Its not someone on here) and when you can look past someone's imperfections to the personality below (like being in love with someone, not for their looks, but their personality) Those three examples pertain to my three crushes not people i love, because i know that i can get over them if you need to...Being in love (in my opinion) is not being able to get over them. ...One more thing which i found funny...guess what movie (wait, wrong thread) Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. Chastity: But I love my Skechers. Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.
i dont believe that theres a certain age in which you can know when youve fallen in love or not. a teenage couple can know and understand what love is while a couple much older might not know. but yeah, i agree with you guys that a crush is sometimes the first step to love. its that initial attraction that draws you two together. a crush can develop into love only with equal effort from both partners.
My definition of love..... A. You get butterflies when you're around them. B. Someone you could see yourself with for most of if not all of your life. C. Someone you don't have to hide yourself around. D. When they leave, it makes you hurt a little inside. You instantly miss their presence.
I don't think the feeling has to be reciprocated for it to be "love." That's why there's the term "unrequited love." My rule is that if there's a question of whether it's love or not, then it's not.
