I've had this problem since I was fourteen and I don't want to deal with it for the rest of my life. When I came out as gay when I was fourteen no one believed me. They all though I was either going through a phase or joking. One person even laughed at me. Shortly after that I came out as bisexual instead. No one told me I was going through a phase, but they still didn't exactly believe me. Some of them thought I would eventually turn straight. I guess it's because I'm a femme. Recently I talked to my dad casually about future relationships. He said that I "might not go that way" because it's still too early to know. :bang: I'm seventeen, not twelve. Even my counselor and mom don't take my sexuality seriously. All this crap has kept me mostly in the closet. It doesn't help that I'm questioning my attraction to guys. A lot of people think this means that I'm straight.
Oh god that's so frustrating. I really hate the way people under 18 or even 21 are stereotyped as being completely unsure of their own emotions. Even if you were hypothetically wrong about this and they somehow knew it, it's so awful to dismiss what you feel as being a phase. People under 18 are still people, and they deserve respect just as much as "adults" do. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I don't blame you for staying closeted when this is what you have to face. Someday you'll be out on your own leading your own life, and you'll be comfortable and confident in who you are, and if anyone wants to give you shit about it you can just smile and walk away, because it doesn't matter what people think of you as long as you are happy. In the meantime, remember that you don't actually have to prove yourself to anyone. You know what you like and who you are better than anyone else does. If an opportunity to share and be accepted is opened up to you, by all means take it, but if it just continues to be shut down and dismissed, it probably isn't worth it to push it and try to convince people. You'll end up where you want to be soon enough.
Your conselors job is to take every word you say as true and then ask you why, they heck are they doing not believe you about sexuality...find someone else! The problem with being in a 'questioning' stage (I say stage, I don't mean like eventually you'll choose or something I'm just lacking a better word for what I mean - sorry) is that people just sort of assume that you'll pick the socially easier option because you only really questioned it because you're bored or because of hormones or whatever. When you spoke to your dad, how did you respond to his statement that you might not go that way?
My counselor has some strange ideas about sexuality. She believes that yo cannot be bisexual unless you "practice bisexuality." She also believes that you can't know until you've tried. I think part of the reason I'm still questioning is because I have OCD tendencies. I sometimes have moments when I'm sure that I'm gay. Then I see an attractive guy and that ruins it for me. Then I tell myself not to label myself. I don't like coming out because I don't want to deal with people asking me if I'm sure about my sexuality. I just don't know what to say. If I'm honest they will think I'm going through a phase for sure. I think my confusion has more to do with my OCD tendencies than my age. When I spoke to my dad and he responded like that I was a bit quiet for a bit and then changed the subject. I've been out to him for three years. I guess he was only pretending to take me seriously. I think it's because I don't talk about my sexuality that often.
I went through this with my brother and my parents. My pops told me it was a phase and that he didn't see gay in me. My brother told me that I act and seemed straight so it was hard for him to believe me. I think its up to them to believe you or not; it shouldn't frustrate you, just prove them wrong with your actions.
