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Text him back and see where it goes. It doesn't have to go anywhere you feel uncomfortable with. Maybe you will like other or maybe you won't, but you will not know unless you take a chance. Its your life, not your dad's.

 

Hey try not to stress about it. At some point you're going to have to accept who you are enough to start doing what you want to in life. You can't go through life pretending to date girls. I mean you could if you wanted, but that would be so miserable for you. You just have to find the strength within yourself to put your own best interest first and do what you want in order to feel good. It may be hard but if you are ever going to have an honest relationship with your dad he's going to have to accept you for who you are.

You can choose to either stay closeted and pretend to date girls and miss out on great experiences, or you can secretly date men and keep it from your dad, or you can somehow open up to him and just put it all out there. So it's truly up to you what you decide. No matter which route you take, it's going to be hard, so it may be best to pick the one with the best outcome. It's going to be okay, no matter what happens.

 

Now you do have someone, a whole lot of someones, to talk to, and they won't and can't "out" you. You talk, we'll listen. There is nothing new about what you are saying so far. It is only new to you, and nothing out of the normal for people who are questioning their sexuality in a setting where they feel forced to be other people's version of "normal".

At some point in your life, your dad is likely to be "disappointed", that what he has imagined for you and wanted for you (actually for himself) is not going to happen the way he expected. HE is going to have to deal with that, in the same way that you are going to have to deal with homosexuality. The only question is how much and how long you are going to screw your life up deferring the inevitability of that day.

You can't change who you are, and should not try. Just deal with it when you feel like it is time for you to. Maybe that is now, when someone is offering to "go out" with you and all you had to do was say "yes" instead of asking someone yourself. There is nothing about doing that which is going to "out" you just to go to dinner or the movies or the beach, or whatever two guys want to do together. The decision to "come out" to your family, if you feel like that is what you are ready to do, can come later. Just go out with your "date" as a "bro date" and enjoy it, and see how it feels to you before you even think about talking to your family about it. If it feels right for you, you will have learned something about yourself and how you feel being out with another guy. Then, you can decide if and when to bring your family into the picture.

 

It's gonna be ok.

Slow down and breathe. The great thing about this is that the ball is in your court. You make the decision and own up to it. If you choose to stay closeted because it is more comfortable, that's ok as long as you are ok with it. Take the guy up on his offer and see where things go. No one is forcing you to go out with him, and no one is saying that it should go farther than just meeting up. Take your time.

 

First, welcome to EC James.

Now, some questions: Are you living your life for yourself or for the benefit of other people? Are you living your life to please the Catholic priests, to win the love of your sister, to make your mother and father proud, or are you living your life to be happy?

You have one life to live. This is it, right now. How are you going to choose to live it?

Knowing the answer to those questions won't make the choices you have to make any easier, but it will make the path forward more clear. When you look in the mirror you have a choice to see yourself for who you really are, embrace that truth, and through living your truth - find happiness. Or alternatively, you can choose to look away, to live a life of pretending for the benefit of other people.

I'll also point out that attempting to live for the happiness of others isn't some noble self-sacrifice. I tried that one with myself in the past. It was just me being afraid and unwilling to face up to the truth. The truth is like some horrible ghost that follows you around everywhere you go - it's always there, no matter how hard you try to deny it or ignore it. ...and in the end, it usually wins.

So, in the end, whether or not you go after this guy or not it isn't going to change anything. You are what you are. The truth is always there, waiting to be acknowledged.

The good news is that you're not alone. You have people here who understand what you're feeling and going through. You're safe here.