Hello! This is my first post and I'm looking for a bit of advice or guidance. I'm just so confused with my life right now, I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start at the beginning (makes sense right?). So I have been questioning for a while now, and it's starting to take a toll on me. I've talked to two of my closest friends about it and they totally 100% accept it, which is great! I've also talked to my mom about it and she accepts it too which is also wonderful. Even though I have the support, I still feel like I'm alone. I can't even make sense of my own thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I'll feel ssoo gay and it's great because in those moments, I don't feel confused anymore, but then there's other moments when I feel like it's not possible for me personally to be gay and happy. I just want to be able to make sense of all the things going through my mind. I'm in constant conflict with myself and it's making me miserable. When somebody says that a guy is hot or sexy, I'll usually just nod or agree just so I don't raise suspicion (I know that's bad because I shouldn't care, but I can't help it) but at home or with my two friends that I told, I will certainly tell them when a girl is hot and I don't feel weird about it. If I do find a guy attractive, they are usually more of a pretty boy than a big macho man, but it still happens sometimes, which is what confuses me. There is one thing that's been on my mind lately; when I told my mom about it, she said that she could tell that's what I wanted to tell her about, and she already sort of knew I was gay. How could she be so certain when I'm still not?! I know that none of you can say "oh, you're gay!" or "You're definitely straight!", but any advice on self realization so-to-speak would be so helpful!
Hey! I'm so glad that you have someone to talk to and who accepts you, and I'm actually kinda jealous. Honestly, I would suggest going and reading through the gender and sexual identity forum, because I've had a lot of struggle with this as well, and it really helped. It explained that all of that is fluid, that you can be attracted to both boys and girls, or mostly one or the other. Hope this helps. ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2013 at 12:12 PM ---------- Oops, sorry! The section is actually called Sexual and Romantic Orientation. I hope this helps.
