Help!! First thing is, how do I explain everything without boring everyone to death with a 'how to come out' post you've all read so any times. FYI I'm not ready to come out especially to my family. Let me start by saying I'm 30 years old and I'm a virgin(male and female and not through choice). I've always been very backward when coming forward so my sexual experience is nil. I've kissed guys and done more but never done anything with a woman. The main problem I am having is that I've been in love with a woman for the last two years since the second I laid eyes on her. I now work with her which is torture because I see her every day. She also has a bf, is 18yrs older than me and I'm pretty sure she is fully straight. Anyway the two problems I have are; 1)I have absolutely no one to talk to about how I am feeling and would just like some like minded conversation just so I feel normal because since I started with the feelings for women I've felt so alone in the world. I've no confidence. I've struggled with depression and self harming all because I feel trapped within myself. 2) Am I so confused because I've never slept with anyone or have I never slept with anyone because I'm so confused about my sexuality. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Thank you.
Some things seem to be a bit skew. I am guessing you are either a lesbian or MtF transgender. You've been in love with a women the past 2 years, does that mean that you liked guys before or is this just your latest object of affection? Before I say anything else if you could clear these two questions please I would be overwhelmed with gratitude.
First of all, you do have people to talk to here about how you are feeling. Sometimes it helps just to talk, even if the other party doesn't know exactly what to say to help you. Being a virgin at 30 is not typical, but is also not unusual for someone who is confused about their sexual identity, so in that respect you are quite normal. You have not said whether you are working with a therapist who can give you quick feedback and help you to unravel your complicated situation after learning more about you in one-on-one conversation, using their experience in dealing with sexual matters. Because of the time you have lost due to this confusion, it would probably be a good idea to find a therapist in your area who specializes in sexuality issues, so that you can get your problems resolved more quickly. I am sure someone will chime in with more specific information in that regard, but I just wanted to put the suggestion in your mind to start thinking about getting some more direct help if you haven't already sought out professional advice.
Sorry I apologise. I'm female, always have been. Yes the two years is the most recent female crush. I've had crushes on women before many times. In fact since I was 13. I ave liked guys but not in a sexual way but I have been attracted to men. I'm not sure if I am truly attracted to men or it's just because it's been drummed into me since I was born that male and female relationships are the norm. It's hard to know when I've never been touched by either. The las time I kissed someone was 10yrs ago. That's just not right
