Hello Everyone, I am new to this site, and am currently in a very messed up situation so i decided to give it a try and ask for help! My story is a bit long, so thanks in advance to those who actually read it. I am a female in my twenties, and have always been into guys but at the same time knew i was attracted to girls. Two years ago i randomly met a gay girl while i was out with friends and decided to just give it a try ,she ended up being my first serious relationship and what feels like the love of my life. we are still together but currently experiencing issues. Anyways no body knows except some of my close people, and even they dont seem to be in full support of us. A year ago my dad passed away, and since then she has been living with me and my mom, (as my best friend) and helped me alot in dealing with the loss. i have been struggling with the idea of keeping it a secret from my mom for a long time, and it has taken a toll on my relationship with my gf as well. The other day she packed her things and moved out, which hurts like hell, so im not sure where we stand now. But the bigger issue is my mom sat me down the other day and asked "why did ____ leave, i just realized all her stuff is gone"..i just sat there in silence and said i don't know. Then she went on to tell me how a few of my relatives that have met her told my mom they had suspicions my gf was gay, to which i just froze and kinda laughed it off. my mom started telling me how i can tell her anything, and if it really is true than she doesn't care as long as it doesn't affect my orientation, because she wants grand kids. at that point i just wanted to burst out the truth..but i chickened out. then today again she told me that i still haven't told her if she's gay or not..i said it doesn't matter she said off course it does you have been sleeping in the same bed all this time, and i said its not a disease that you can catch. She then asked me if i think its normal being gay and i said i dont care it doesn't change who a person is for me, and i just got so angry and walked away. So...now i clearly feel even more discouraged to ever tell her the truth seeing as how anti-gay she is, and its killing me. I'm not sure if i should just let my gf go even though i am deeply in love with her, or to muster up the courage and tell my mom. :bang: Any advice would be highly appreciated. I cant really talk to anyone about this since nobody really supports my relationship. P.S..I'am not sure of my sexuality therefore i will not label myself, all i know is that i am a girl who is madly in love with another girl.
First off, don't worry about labelling yourself. Do what you feel comfortable with. Having a label only makes for a quicker explanation of your attractions to others, but offers no benefits otherwise, unless you're the type who likes to have a definite tag. Secondly, I really can't offer any advice as far as patching things up with your girlfriend, as I've still never had a relationship. Perhaps you two need to talk it out, and maybe you could try to apologize to her for the struggles of keeping her a secret. (Not to say that you're to be blamed and are trying to hurt her, but hopefully you understand what I mean.) As far as things go with your mother, that sounds to be a delicate situation. If you were to admit that you were not straight, do you think she would take it out on you? Would she kick you out? Also, are you still financially dependent on her? If so, you might want to avoid coming clean about it for just a little longer, if only to keep yourself financially stable and with a roof over your head. Once you are independent, I'd say go right on ahead. You'll feel freer and things won't be so tense between you and your girlfriend. Plus, once she's no longer able to harm or punish you for it, it's all on her to deal with your sexuality without you suffering. Good luck with your situation, and I really do hope this helps a little.
In your situation I would probably prioritise your relationship with your girlfriend. Talk to her about it and make sure she knows how you feel. I know it's hard to talk about things like that with people, but you really need to know where you two stand. As for your mum, if she doesn't accept you for what you are, then she can fuck right off. If you plan on telling her though, make sure you are able to support yourself if needs be. Good luck! (*hug*)
