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Another Thought

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Trumpetplyer23, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. Trumpetplyer23

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    Well, I just got a myspace...Which is good because I've reconnected with old friends and can now talk to my boyfriend a lot easier.

    I didn't set an orientation. I'm not sure if I want to or not. Two people on there (the profile is private except to my friends), have no idea that I am in fact bi.

    Here's where things get interesting though *cue music*. The one guy who doesn't know is my boyfriend. Then the girl who doesn't know is friends with a girl I used to like and told and she freaked out, and we are both mutual friends in real life and on myspace with this girl.

    Confuzzling, isn't it? If you need me to clairfy, just ask and I'll clarify.

    Thanks guys :slight_smile:
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi! It's great that you are re-connecting with old friends. If you're unsure about the others on how they might react, leave the orientation settings the way they are. Are you concerned that your friend who knows that you are bi will tell your online friend?
     
  3. Trumpetplyer23

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    No...It's just weird, because the girl I like and the girl whom I've reconnected with, gosh, they were best friends and both of them have told me how much they miss each other. Idk, the girl I used to like is okay with it and she's a very trust-worthy person, anything you tell her, she'll take to the grave with her.

    Then there's the angle of my bf. He's an accepting guy, but idk how he'll take the fact that his girlfriend likes girls. I mean, I probably should have told him before we started our relationship the first time a couple of years ago....but I was still struggling and stuff. Then we broke up and I didn't talk to him for a while (he lives in a different town and we don't go to school together), but we met at a band thing a while ago and he called me and we started dating again.

    I'm just not sure what I should do...because I've thought of adding other people from my school, people I'm friends with but not neccesarily very close with...

    thanks.
     
  4. Mirko

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    I see...okay. It might be a bit weired but I wouldn't worry about it too much as your friend seems to be trustworthy. If you want to add new friends that you don't know very well and/or don't trust that much, leave your orientation settings the way they are. Go with whatever you are most comfortable with.

    As for your boyfriend (and I might say something now that might not be well received) but I think you should tell him in the nicest possible way. I think you need to be fair to him and to yourself. Withholding it from him, will make it only more difficult down the road. Now, you might ask yourself what should I tell him? Just try to be honest with him and tell him that you've never mentioned it to him because you were not sure or still trying to figure everything out.

    Having said this, take your time though with it. Don't rush into it.

    I hope this is of some help. Others might have other/better suggestions.
     
  5. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    From the sounds of it, it sounds like you should leave it as it is. You also have to remember, that if you're out on MySpace or whatever, then every new person you add is going to know.

    I would try and talk to your boyfriend if you can. The way I like to put it to people, who don't get it, is that I have the *potential* to like both men and women, but that at this particular point in time I like men/women/this one particular person. ie you need to clarify that you're not checking out girls (are you??).

    But it sounds to me as though you have some doubts about coming out on MySpace, so I wouldn't.
     
  6. Trumpetplyer23

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    I've decided not to list my orientation. No one's asked me, considering most of them know, but if my bf and other friend not in the 'know' ask, I'll tell them.

    Yeah, girls get my attention, but I don't flirt with them like I used to. I used to flirt (harmlessly, I wouldn't like, completely come onto them....that's just awkward and could probably get me sued or something), but in a friendly manner like "Oh, your hair looks nice today" or "I like that shirt", with a nice little smile. Nor do I check them out as much as I used to.

    So, yeah, plus, if you look at the other thread, I'm kind of questioning myself, so, I don't want to put something really definitive on there.

    Thanks for the help guys! :slight_smile: