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Coming out as bi to parents although in a straight relationship?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Commenza, Dec 13, 2013.

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  1. Commenza

    Commenza
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    Hi guys,

    I've read many stories on here about bisexuals who came out to their parents. So, I've been wondering, is it really necessary to come out just to... come out? I see how people want to come out when they're in a same-sex relationship and want to introduce their partner to their parents.

    But (as a bisexual), does it make sense to come out when you're either single or in a straight relationship?

    I don't really see a point in coming out for the mere purpose of coming out. If there's a reason (like a partner), then sure, but other than that... Do you really have to tell your parents who you feel attracted to? Heterosexuals don't have to do this either.

    I hope, my post makes sense haha. Looking forward to your replies! :slight_smile:
     
    #1 Commenza, Dec 13, 2013
  2. william123

    william123
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    In my opinion, definitely don't feel pressured to come out. Coming out for me was only because I had to. I don't know if I was gay or bi or what, but I just had to let people know how I felt inside. There comes a threshold where if you keep it inside you it's almost like you're lying to yourself and everybody else. If you don't feel any particular need to, that is fine as well. It's just a personal call I guess! :grin:
     
    #2 william123, Dec 13, 2013
  3. Yossarian

    Yossarian
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    I think that for the younger people living at home, they want the freedom to explore their sexuality without having to keep the homo side of their sexuality hidden from their parents, either so they can "bring someone home" if they feel like it at some point in the future, or even if they just want to be able to talk on the phone without someone hearing their conversation causing a surprise problem. There are also the examples of leaving "clues" of their homosexuality around, in their computers, or by the clothes they prefer, or the friends they hang out with who know, even though they are not actively exploring what it means with others at the moment. Hiding such things from parents often feels like lying to them. If it feels comfortable to you to keep your preferences to yourself, there is nothing wrong with that, UNLESS your parents decide to ask you about it, then you are either outed, or become a liar without any advanced notice, and maybe when you aren't ready. Many people don't feel comfortable with that kind of sword hanging over their head, but if you do, it is your choice to do so.
     
    #3 Yossarian, Dec 13, 2013
  4. Im Just Me

    Im Just Me
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    It's all about what you feel. Coming out should be because it's bothering you, or you want them to know.
    I've always been in straight relationships so wouldn't tell anyone unless they were to ask. (Which rarely happened.) However, the past couple months I've been struggling with wondering if I was more than bi, so I came out to my mom, despite having a boyfriend, since I needed advice on what I should do.

    It's really up to you. I agree, it's not necessarily necessary to come out just to come out. But if you're really open and honest and have a close relationship with your parents, maybe it's something you personally would like them to know.

    Really, it's just up to you. It's not right or wrong either way.
     
    #4 Im Just Me, Dec 13, 2013
  5. Commenza

    Commenza
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    Thanks for your advice!

    The only person I came out to so far is my boyfriend because I felt that he should know. About my parents... I'm not so sure if it's their business. Also, I'm not living at home anymore and I don't see my parents that often. So, even if I wasn't in a relationship and would bring home girls, they wouldn't even notice.

    I understand that for some people, it's necessary to come out because they're feeling that they are hiding something otherwise. But personally, I don't feel that way. If I should ever feel the urge to tell them, I'd probably do but right now... I just don't see a point. (And if they were to ask me, which I doubt, I'd probably tell them the truth.)

    Well yeah, thanks for your comments. :slight_smile: I think, I'm certain now that I don't have to tell them if it's not necessary.
     
    #5 Commenza, Dec 14, 2013
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