After recently realizing that I'm possibly "bisexual", possibly a "lesbian" or as I like to put it "the other person's bits don't matter as much as their personality". I've told my closest friends and family members that I have some serious feelings for a woman I know. Not because I felt I needed to tell them about my non-straightness, but because I was doing the normal does-she-like-me-or-not-help-me thing that anyone else in the world would do with a crush of any gender. So I guess that's a sort of coming out? Anywho! I'm struggling with whether or not I need to tell the rest of my family. Like my parents and sisters (one of which told me once that lesbians were disgusting. awkward for her). I'm feeling very militant towards the idea of "coming out" because I don't understand why I have to do it. When I was younger and straighter it wasn't ever expected of me to sit down with my parents and say, "Mom, Dad, I don't want to disappoint you, but I keep having these feelings for boys and they just won't go away." I don't like (or really get) the fact that now there's this expectation that I have to tell them I also rather like women. I'm not terribly worried about them disowning me or saying anything horrible, I just don't see why it matters. I'm just really frustrated with the concept of coming out. Is it just because I'm new to all of this? Any ideas?
Don't do it then. If you don't feel you need to tell them, you don't need to. As you said: "I don't understand why I have to do it" The simple answer is, you don't. Ever. To anyone. The only reason 'coming out' exists is because people assume everyone is straight until told otherwise. It is essentially you providing other people with a warning. A warning you shouldn't NEED to give. If you happen to get a girlfriend and want them to meet your family, then tell them, otherwise let it come up when it comes up. Being gay isn't a bad thing, so nobody has any right to be "warned" about it. It shouldn't be an issue. You shouldn't NEED to tell someone before hand so they don't accidentally turn round and say "So, you're one of them fags, eh?" in front of your girlfriend!
I agree that you never really "need" to come out to your family. If you think it will help or make you feel better, you should definitely think about it.
