How do I come out to my counselor?

I advise just flat out saying "I'm gay" near the beginning of the conversation. When coming out to one friend, I just walked into the room they were in (alone) and said, "Don't be mad, but i know if I don't tell you now I never will.... I'm gay". Just spit the words out... She is the perfect person to say this to.

 

I've been in your shoes. This may sound somewhat silly, but this is what I did...

I basically just started saying, "I'm gay!" Out loud when I was alone. Like every time I thought a thought that could mark me as gay, I said out loud: "I'm gay!" In the car on the ride there, "I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy and proud." :lol:

Part of the major barrier I had was actually saying it out loud... I wasn't used to hearing the words actually come out of my mouth, and I had spent so long filtering things that the filter was pretty fucking strong. Eventually, I just started having fun with it, and started making "I'm so gay that I..." jokes about myself.

Basically, things that would make me laugh. Doing silly stuff like that, really helped to break the tension. When it came to say the three dreaded words: "I am gay." It was a lot easier because by that point I already had a lot of practice, and the filter was already starting to malfunction a bit.

 

Well whatever you do, know it won't be the worst anyone has ever done it...

I think I spent about half an hour mumbling about nothing until I half shouted the word "Sex toys" xD

 

You can just write it on a piece of paper and hand it to her. I have only one time in my whole life said that I'm lesbian, I said "Jag är lesbisk." (Swedish) and three seconds later I started to cry...

But I really recommend writing it on a piece of paper if you find it difficult to say the words. But if you want to say the words out loud, I recommend saying the words out loud now and then, as @Aldrick has said. Scream the words at the top of your lungs.

 

Yeah, Aldrick's advice sounds great! And I might have to try that...
But I understand what you mean, it feels impossibly difficult to actually say the words, even when you know they will be accepting. Hell, I practically had a breakdown coming out, by text, to one of my closest friends who I knew was bi.

The only times I've ever managed to get it out in person, I've started the sentence with something like "So, I just wanted to let you know that..." or "So, there isn't really any reason why I need to tell you this, but I just wanted you to know that...".

For me, it really helped to have some kind of momentum going by the time I got to the dreaded words, "I'm gay", so then by the time you get there, it doesn't feel like such a big deal because you're most of the way through the sentence and you can't really stop now, so you could practise doing that and see if it helps.

Good luck

 

I told my therapist in the initial phone consultation becuase i wanted to know if that was something she had experience with. It was hard to say becuae she was the first person i told, but it made it easier going to the first session with her already knowing.

Remember, she is there to help you and wont judge you especially with her being a lesbian. It may be hard to tell her at first but you will feel a whole lot better once it gets out

 

Some goofy things to yell to yourself to help break the filter: (Add your own to this list below, just for fun)

"I need to tell you something about me; I am gay"

"How gay are you?"

"I'm so gay, I can't even think straight"

"I'm so gay, pink is my basic black"

"I'm so gay, I have a 6-color ribbon on my typewriter"

"I'm so gay, I traded my Mustang for a Subaru"

"I'm so gay, I can't even stand up straight"

"I'm so gay, my tongue is registered as a dangerous weapon"

"I'm so gay, they can't put me in a straight jacket"

"I'm so gay, I can't even walk straight"

When you can say these things to your friends and laugh with them about it, you haven't just come out, you have arrived.

 

I wanted to tell my therapist I was gay for a couple months before I told her. I remember walking to her office one day thinking, "Ok, I'm going to do this, I'm going to just blurt it out when I walk in," and I totally chickened out! When I finally did tell her it was near the end of our session, I had been beating around the bush and she asked if I was keeping something from her. I finally told her I wasn't attracted to men. I couldn't say the words, "I'm gay." I still can't.

My advice would be to try not to put too much pressure on yourself. The days I went in thinking , "I'm going to tell her today!" I just couldn't. Try to talk about more casual things before you bring it up. Maybe write a list of things to tell her and take it with you. Like, this past week I walked my dog, had an interesting time at such and such event, went to the store, and by the way, I'm attracted to women...

I know it's scary but you KNOW she'll accept you. Take comfort in that. There's no wrong way to tell her.