Idk where to start, I've always been the tomboyish girl, the shy one in the family but I've always been attracted to men, about a year ago a girl started working at my store and I work in a complete different department so every now and then I'd see her, and didn't make much of it, you could straight out tell she is gay, long hair but dresses guyish. Anywho, everytime I passed by her dep. She would say hi to me and I'd say hi to her, about 3 months ago we started talking really cool like we exchanged numbers and stuff to hangout and we keep it super cool like we trust each other pretty good because she's very open about her ex relationships and I'm open about mine so we joke around and stuff, she would always tell me how in love she was with her ex until one day I started telling her she would find some kne better and to keep her head up, it was until then when I started realizing these weird feelings for her like not as friends and about 2 weeks ago she got back with her ex who I already met and is really cool, I'm scared because idk what these new feelings are, I've always loved the relationships my gay friends have, and everytime we hang out and her gf comes I'm myself but deep In me it hurts. Even of I had a chance with her idk if that's what I want idk if I'm gay or not I don't know if I refuse to accept it because I don't see myself with a girl in a future but I see myself with her. She's very very open about her sexuality and she's my first lesbian friend. Idk I just need help please.
I think that it might just be curiosity but you could possibly be bi. What my friend told me to do when I first started questioning myself is to really think, and picture myself with someone of the same sex. Really think about what it is you like. Also, being bi doesn't mean you are going to be attracted to everyone you see, to me it means that you are willing to find love in someone for who they are and what they mean to you, not just gender roles. For now I would just keep being supportive of their relationship, maybe it ends up not working out, if so, open up to her.
Yea I know what you mean, and it's weird because when I start thinking about it , I can see myself with her, but then I think about how open she is and idk if I could ever be that way, sometimes I misunderstand her signals too. Like before she got back with her ex I'd feel her kind of flirting and maybe it was just me but it felt real. The other day I was really cold and she grabbed my hand to warm it up. Maybe it's just the ways she is, since she acts like a guy, then sometimes we will be hanging out and she will tell me she misses her gf and then days later she'll text me while she's with her gf and instead Of saying yea bro she will write yea babe and retract her self saying woops I meant bro, but it's not the first time she does it and yea maybe I'm over thinkingn it or looking way into it idk
I know your exact feeling! I am really scared to open up to anyone about me being gay. But with the feelings for your friend, I am in the exact same boat. My friend that I outed to, I've been going to him for help trying to sort out my feelings, he was the first and only one I've told and I told him actually before I fully accepted it myself. I find that I've started to get feelings for him, probably because he's just been so friendly and supportive, but he is in a straight relationship with one of my other closest friends. He came to me awhile ago and told me he thought he might be bi but doesn't know for sure and he thinks he would need to try something with another guy to be sure, but he likes being with his gf, and ever since then just the idea of him breaking up with her to try being with me fills my head. I feel like I can do is sit and watch and hope for the day when maybe I'll get lucky. I don't see any other options in this kind of situation either.
I feel the exact same way. As much as I tell myself to let it go, the moment she comes to me or text me good morning it's like I forget everything I told myself! Idk how to get over her! Before she got back with her girl I kinda hinted things and I know she caught them because of how she replied. Idk I wish I had a way to get over it but you know how it is the less we can have it the more we want it
