I want to come out to a couple of my friends at school, simply just to get it off my chest, buuuuut: A) I'm not sure who I'd trust. Since I moved to a new area, I have a new but very small circle of people I consider friends. I'm not like my mom, who can just waltz into a room and become best friends with at least 25 people in 25 minutes. I'm horridly shy. I can count all my friends on my fingers and toes. I don't go to parties, and don't hang out much. I'm not warped, just nervous and kinda awkward. God knows I don't want this to spread. There are some people I'm close with (let's call 'em, D, M, J, L, N, R, and A). -I ride the bus with D, M, and J, so we're good friends. Also in the gang are C, T, T2, T3, and M2. T2 and M2 are kinda immature, annoying, and maybe in-the-closet (M2 is very touchy and pervy with everyone). They're freshmen, so they're still middle-schoolers in my book. I don't give a damn what they think, but I wouldn't want them knowing. T and T3 are boyfriend and girlfriend, and literally do nothing but make out on the bus (ugh :rolle: ) T's said many nasty things about gays, and last year played an awful prank on a gay freshman ( by pretending to be gay, got into a fake relationship and outed him to everyone). He's so deep in the closet he's in Narnia, and he certainly dresses like a gay man (fashionably). T3's just an ugly skank, but he's pretty close with her, so I'm just gonna guess he's metrosexual. J and C are pretty quiet, but nice. M is quiet and maybe in the closet. D keeps trying to set me and M up with various girls, even suggesting we use dating sites (dear god no :eusa_naug ). He's pretty damn persistent, and suspects that I am gay. However, I don't know just how he feels about gays, so I'm avoiding that topic. -L and N are in my band class, and seem like decent human beings. L's goofy and spontaneous, as well as a pretty big brony (meh), and N's mostly quiet. N's a pretty hardcore Christian, and is into astral projection and all that mysticy pseudoscience stuff (I'm agnostic and very scientific). However, he doesn't seem like one of those crazy WBC Christians (he's non-denominational, which I take to be pretty liberal). These seem like the best people to tell. -R's a friend from my old neighborhood, and I'm pretty sure he's gay (this dude has never had any type of girlfriend, and he's pretty damn good lookin). We see each other every now and then, but we haven't hung out in forever. We grew up together, so I trust him pretty well. -A's in my Lit class, and is gay or just pretty friendly. He's pretty chill, not your usual fabuleth fashion queen. He's in a relationship with another kid, which brings me to my next point: B) I don't want it to seem like I'm hitting on them. I know it probably sounds silly, but I'm worried that others might take my coming out as a clumsy way of saying "hey let's go screw in the bushes :icon_wink ". I've only known these people for 4 months tops. It'd seem a bit sudden to come out to them at this point. A, D, J, and L are all in relationships, so I really don't want it to look like I'm trying to come in like a wrecking ball (sorry for the reference!). I just want to tell someone and have it be a mutual secret until I tell someone else. Maybe it's just my shyness, but that's how I see it. Jesus my fingers hurt from typing that! Suggestions?
If you feel like coming out to someone, come out to R first; if he is from your old neighborhood, it is less likely that the information would spread from him, even if he slips up and lets on to someone about your status. If he IS gay and wants to try a relationship with you, you can keep it down-lower, and if nothing comes from it, it will go away without your new friends being involved in the drama. If something DOES come from it, you can work the relationship without it interfering with your status to your current group of friends, until you feel comfortable about coming out to them too.
Well, the last couple days I have been doing something to test D's trust. I came up with the idea of "dick facts" after showing him the infamous "Cat Facts" prank. Basically, in Cat Facts, one person anonymously texts a friend (not sure how) a set of cheesy, pre-written cat facts every hour or so. This drives the other person bonkers and attempts to "cancel" only make the texts more frequent. So, he gave me T's number (luckily T doesn't have mine, so it comes up as a random #), and every couple hours or so I'd send made up statis-dicks about penii(?). It seemed like he jokingly played along with it, but he was pissed when I saw him on the bus. He accused D of doing it, and D kept his mouth shut. Meanwhile, I upgraded it to "pix" with a picture of Dick Cheney (rimshot). I gave up after further lulz failed to ensue, but since he's kept his mouth shut, I feel more confident about trusting D.
You're not going to like what I have to say, but here goes anyway. Sadly, almost without fail, when you tell someone in high school you're gay, word gets around. Usually what happens is, you swear person A to secrecy, and then person A goes and tells his or her best friend "B", swearing "B" to secrecy. But "B", of course, has no obligation directly to you, and so the need to keep it secret isn't strong. "B" repeats it, and by then, there's no interest in keeping it secret... and news about somebody being gay is, sadly, stlil pretty hot gossip in the high school circuit. So... no matter whom you tell, there's a pretty high likelihood that it's not going to stay totally secret. And once it gets out, news tends to travel fast, so the whole school could know within a week's time. Now... if you're pretty close to being ready and able to come out... then I'd say do it. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and it will stay under wraps, but if not, you'll be ready (or at least somewhat ready) for it to happen. Honest truth is, these days, in Northern Virginia (I grew up in Arlington), I seriously doubt much of anyone's going to care. That's a pretty liberal area. So it's probably a pretty safe place for the whole school to know you're a poof
Ah, true. It's not really like I have that much of a reputation to uphold, let alone one that would be shattered completely if I was out. However, since I'm new and don't have too many friends in the neighborhood, I gotta make sure they wouldn't be upset or alienated by having a gay friend. There are quite a few Christian-crazies at my school, thanks to the local mega-church and redneck population. I got into a huge twitter battle with one chick from English over thst Phil Robertson fiasco. Not sure how Mr. Non-Denominational feels about gays, but he has made a couple attempts to convert a Muslim student (yeah...really:rolle: ). Most others just seem generally ignorant on the topic.
