Hi, new here.(!) Sorry in advance for my probable rambling just looking for advice if anyone can. recently I've been thinking more and more about my sexuality, I've finally came to terms with the fact that I don't feel any real attraction for males, only females.I'm not completely sure though, I still find males attractive but I can't see myself in a relationship with one, however, with girls I can. I guess I've known for quite a while that I'm attracted to girls, but I've been dismissing my feelings. As I said I still feel a certain attraction for males, but I wouldn't think of myself as a bisexual.. I feel that I should come out to someone, so I don't feel how I feel now, but it could all backfire. I don't have many people who I trust enough to tell, I think my mother would be fully supportive but the rest of my family probably wouldn't be. I'm really worried about coming out, but I don't feel happy thinking it all through in my head constantly. How can I come out when I've never been in a relationship before, would I come out as a lesbian? I don't know. Maybe I should keep it to myself until (if ever) I'm in a relationship with a female, I just feel like I'm lying to everyone keeping it all to myself. I feel so pathetic for this, sorry. :icon_sad:
Never apologise for seeking help, even if you do feel bad! Ever! What to do, what to do. The first thing to do is realise that you aren't lying to anyone. Nobody asked you, remember? There are so many things people do and think every day that they never tell another person about, it doesn't mean we are lying about them. We just simply never told anyone. If nothing else, realising this should help you feel a bit less bad. What do you come out as? Well what do you feel? Let's assume for a moment that your goal as far as orientation goes is to wind up in a relationship. Well you don't WANT a relationship with a guy. You might find them attractive sometimes, but you don't seem to feel like you could be with one in any meaningful way. Could you come out as lesbian? Sure. Does it matter than you find guys attractive? Not really, but if it worries you, you could try 'not straight'. What you choose is up to you. Should you wait? Well that's up to you. Don't feel you HAVE to come out, and don't feel you have to STAY IN just because other people might not like it. Really, coming out is just your way of warning people not to make some stupid comment or another. You don't owe it to anyone but yourself. You might find it easier to FIND that special person if you ARE out, because at least you don't have to hide it from everyone, but otherwise, there is no reason you should HAVE to do it until you feel you want to. One big thing that seems to come up a lot with questions like this is "What if I date a guy later". Can you come out as a lesbian and then date a guy later? The simple answer is hell yes you can. Do what feels right for you, when it feels right for you.
Thanks for your reply, I guess I don't need to "come out" or otherwise to anyone until I feel comfortable, as long as I'm not lying to myself or anyone else it should be ok? Realising this does make me feel less bad, I just wish I was more sure of myself so I could confidently come out, but I guess the right time will eventually come, and if it doesn't that's fine too. Once again thanks for the advice.
I have always questioned my sexuality but since i have dated males i am starting to turn gay then bisexual and i am still getting my head around it. All i am going to say is come out when you are ready to and don't rush in as that is a bad idea.
