I want to transition, how can i tell my gf?

All I'll say is that eventually you will have to tell her. Personally, if I were her, I would rather no about it NOW and have time to understand it before you start actually doing it. At least it shows trust.

If she takes it badly now, she'll take it badly later most likely.

 

In regards to a job, I think you should try to find a part-time one. I don't know if you can swing the schedule with school and all, but maybe you could only work like 15-20 hours per week.

As for telling your girlfriend, I think you should be honest with her. Sure, you could suppress the fact that you're a woman but I don't think it will go away. Holding things like that in will cause you suffering and it will probably begin to adversely affect you all's relationship anyway. If she feel in love with you being yourself then she already loves the real you too. Becoming your true self doesn't change your personality. I hope everything works out for you. Stay strong.

 

Well personally, I would have cut the world off to transition had it come to it, because I needed it. If you don't, you don't, that's up to you. However, if you choose NOT to tell her or not to transition, please PLEASE keep an eye on your mood. If you start getting depressed, start thinking about this again.

 

That sounds like a plan! If she's not sure how to take it and you need some help, let us know!¬

 

Looks good, you def let her know that you love her and want to be there with her. You know you're situation better than I do, but I wouldn't apologize so much to her. I mean, be understanding and compassionate(which you seem to be) but you shouldn't have to be sorry for being the person you were born as. I hope all goes well for you, KayTmayy. Best of luck.

 

Looks like a good letter, certainly a lot more apologetic than the one I intended to write to my mum xD But it hits all the right areas, and probably most importantly you've phrased it like something managable rather than some big life-destroying disaster which is a really good thing.

 

You're young. If you start hormones now they would be awesome for you. Your high school relationship is less important than your decision to transition. Five years from now you will be very very happy with your decision to forgo any further hesitation.

 

You sound like you want to. A lot would. Problem is money. Also if she can't accept you for who you want to be, you will find someone else.

I mean it is her choice to want a man as much as yours to be female. Make YOU happy first.

 

"she makes me feel so guilty"

You ask almost anyone the to name all the things they liked about a past relationship I'm betting not one of them said "I like how they made me feel really guilty about things I really needed to do!"

 

You need 2 confirmed psychiatrist refs and a year transitioned if I recall, you that far?

 

Everyone experiences their need to transition differently. Some people don't feel the need to do anything, some people can get buy with little changes, personally (and I must say I find more regularly) people want as much as they can, if not in terms of physical change then in the way the act and the way they are treated.

Now as much as you won't like to hear it (and not would I if our roles were reversed) this is one of those times when the feelings of others have to be ignored. Yeah your girlfriend might get 'depressed' because you transitioned, but if you feel the need to do it and the fear of losing her is preventing you from doing so, her feelings will be NOTHING compared to yours.

I like to see it like this. The pain she will feel breaking up with you is like standing on a nail. Hurts like hell for a while, could cause some lasting damage but they'll get over it eventually. The feelings you'll get if it turns out that the feelings of this one person are stopping you from being the person you are is like me coming over and breaking every bit of you with a small hammer. Little by little, day by day. At first it will just be annoying, tolerable. But eventually, the more I hit a spot, the more it'll hurt. Before long, I've done some damage and I move on to the next bit. It isn't too long before everything is beyond repair.

You might be lucky, you might be one of those people that never needs to transition. If so, then I guess lucky for you, you can stay with this girl. But deep down, you know you're a girl. A girl being treated like a guy. You will find yourself wanting, and damn it you deserve, someone who loves that part of you as well. Someone who thinks that the girl inside you is just as valuable and desired as the body you were dumped in when you were born.

 

I started on hormones without a note from a therapist. But I was lucky enough to find a doctor willing to prescribe them on the system of informed consent. Typically you need three months of therapy and a simple note from a therapist recommending the treatment of hormones to get set up. The best way to get the note? Be straight up with your therapist.

"I've decided to start my transition. Could you write a note for my doctor explaining that we've discussed it? I want to be on hormones right away."

If she/he refuses, and does not provide adequate justification for their hesitation, then they are wasting your time and it's time to find a new therapist. You have to remember that this isn't anyone's life or transition but your own. This is YOUR LIFE, this is YOUR TRANSITION. No one has the right to dictate what you can and cannot do with your own body, and you can't stand idly while people stand in your way to happiness. Take control of your own destiny.