I'm not someone who always goes out to parties or dances on Friday or Saturday nights. I'm not someone who has that many friends, I'm also not that good looking or at that perfect weight. I'm different and i should be proud that i'm different but I'm not. If you ever meet me, you will see a boy who is smiling and looking to have a good time, but that is on the outside, on the inside i'm lonley and depressed. My parents are lways aarguing my sister, and i always feel like I'm ignored. A few times I've tried suicide but always didn't. Whenever I feel lonley or sad I always escape to this world where I have a perfect life, I have two dads...weird I know...one is 17 the other is 16, I have a perfect boyfriend, he has brown hair down to his ears, soft blue eyes and a killer body. I always go there just to excape the pain of my life. But everytime I go into my world the lonlier i seem to get. I try to hide it but sometimes it is all that people see in me. My parents don't know I'm gay, and I'm not ready to tel them yet. i keep telling myself that if i do tell them I may feel happier and will try to get out more. I want to come out to them I always want to but I can't find the right time to do it. I have a few friends...but they're both girls, I need a few guys friends...maybe some gay friends that i can relate to and really open up with and talk to. i joined EC so that i could talk with other teens like me who may be having the same problems as me, and maybe make a few more friends, i hope i find a boy who will love me and be my friend and lover, hopefully soon. I need a E-(*hug*) and someone to right now i feel like:tears:
Hi there! Don't be hard on yourself. Start embracing the things that make you different from everybody else. It doesn't matter that you don't like to go out that much. Hey that's okay. I'm sure there are tons of other things that you like doing. Concentrate on those! We are all different. We all look different and we come in different shapes and sizes. But guess what: that does not matter. You will help others and bright up their lives in your own way and this is what matters. Try accepting and loving yourself for who you are. I'm sure there are others who look up to you and say "boy I wish I would be this guy." If you feel depressed and feel that you are alone, talk to someone about it. Don't leave it inside of you. Talk to a school counselor who will be there for you and will listen to you. Harming yourself is not the answer, but talking about your feelings/worries is. You have your entire life ahead of you in which you will experience great things. One day you will look back and realize that you have overcome all of this. It will get better. Trust me on this. Coming out to your parents is difficult. But there is no rush in coming out to them. The right time will present itself. Don't stress out about it. Take it as it comes. When it comes to making new friends, try joining a support group, like a GLBT group for youths or a PFLAG chapter in your area. Often PFLAG chapters have their own youth support groups. You could join them, take part in some of their activities and get to know other youths. Also try finding out if your school has a GSA which you could join as well. All of this can and will help you not only in building new friendships but it will also help you in your coming out journey. And yes, EC is a great place to get to know new people. It will only help you. Glad that you have joined and that you are trying to make new friends. I hope this helps!
Hi there. I love your ID - as I'm a total ABBA fan. I know most to the words to almost all their songs - and I'm the guy on the dancefloor singing away to Dancing Queen! (And yet somehow I lived to be 35 before I clued in to the fact I was gay...) I actually see alot of myself in you. I too used to retreat to a world of fantasy. It made me feel better. At the time. But it also made the real world seem even lonelier and more painful. So I retreated further and further until the only world I could relate to was the fantasy one... I felt like you when I was your age. I didn't date. I didn't play sports. I wasn't really popular. I didn't feel like I fit in. Well - truth be told - it was probably because I was gay, and didn't know it. Of course I felt a little out of place. Of course I couldn't relate to the world that was going on around me... it was one based on hetrosexual behaviours and traditions. TV and movies also give the impression that EVERYONE has a bf/gf and EVERYONE is having sex - and when you don't / aren't you feel like you must be the only one. Well, the fact is that MOST people AREN'T having sex at 14. They shouldn't have a 'lover', nor should you. There's LOTS of time for that. But having said all that - life still isn't easy to deal with. Perhaps you could work with a school counsellor or a therapist and work through how you are feeling. It's important that you spend less time in your fantasy world, and more time in the real world. Working on that now will be easier than working on it later - and trust me - you'll need to do it eventually. It will be tough to let go of. I know. But you need to start dealing with your reality - as painful and disappointing as it might seem to you. Only then will you have a chance at making it better. I can really, really relate. I bet a lot of others here can as well. Good luck. And let me know if you want to chat more with me.
